Training with The Batman…
Bruce: You, Jordan. Push-ups in three minutes.
Hal *wheezing on the floor from two hours of weight lifting* Barry, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack him with it.
Tag: bruce wayne
Superman: Actually, I saw “Goodfellas” with Bruce!
Green Lantern: Really? Bruce sees movies made after 1957?
Batman: What’s your point, Jordan?
Green Lantern: *startled* Whoa! That was an impressively quiet entrance.
Batman: Hood, stay!
Red Hood: *runs towards the firefight* I’m not your poodle, Bats!
At the Justice League beach trip…
Bruce: *setting up miniature surveillance equipment and burying them in the sand*
Clark: *rolls eyes* Tell me you know how to swim.
Bruce: I know how to swim, Clark. I swim for survival, not for fun.
Batman [Terry]: *sees a pile of unconscious thugs* I thought I told you to stay put!
Bruce: *holding a broken cane* Hn. I’m an old man. I don’t always hear so well.
When you show up at the Batcave unannounced after having been “estranged” from your adoptive father for a while…
Nightwing:
Batman:
Nightwing:
Batman: *goes back to typing on the Batcomputer*
Nightwing: Good! Let bygones be bygones. Maybe you want to hug it out or bump fists?
Batman: No. Let’s just work on the case.
Batman: Research is my super power.
Criminal: *in handcuffs* Batman psychologically scarred me for life!
Commissioner Gordon: *takes a drag* He has that effect on some people.
Clark: What was that look?
Bruce: What look?
Clark: The look you just gave me.
Bruce: I gave a look?
Clark: Yes.
Bruce: What kind of look?
Clark: I know that look.
Bruce: Then what was it?
Clark: Why should I tell you?
Bruce: You’re the big “look” expert. I want to see how smart you are.
Clark: Trust me, I know the look.
He knows it. Your children know it. Everyone who’s ever felt judged by you knows it, Batman. (Including the rogues.)
Batman: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*
Nightwing: *parkour-ing from giant memento to giant memento in the Batcave*
Red Hood: *aiming at the bats with his guns (”What? For target practice!”)*
Red Robin: *rambles on about his Multiverse theories to Bruce while dragging around an IV stand with a pouch of pure liquid caffeine*
Batgirl: *taking a selfie while Spoiler braids her hair*
Robin: *approaching Alfred with Batcow in tow (”I need more pet food, Pennyworth.”)*
Lark: *Snapchatting everyone while ducking to avoid Dick (”Typical Tuesdays”)*
Batman: *finds it hard to focus, stops typing*
Batman: *looks at the chaos that is his children*
Alfred: *serves Bruce some tea*
Batman: Alfred, this is like a waking nightmare of happiness.
Alfred: *grins and walks away*
Orphan: *hugs Bruce’s neck from behind*
Batman: *grins as his daughter skips away to join the fray*
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