Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *picks up the Gotham Gazette*
Dick: *doing pull-ups using the kitchen chandelier*
Alfred: *tugs at Dick’s feet to get him off the chandelier*
Tim: *typing furiously on his laptop, eyes narrowed with concentration*
Jason: *pours a fifth shot of espresso into Tim’s mug*
Damian: *picks bacon off Jason’s plate and feeds it to Alfred the Cat*
Bruce: *puts down the newspaper, buries his face in a hand and shakes his head*
Bruce: Just one question, boys. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
I’d say stick to the Business Section, Bruce, but I guess it’s kind of hard to avoid the headlines, huh?
Tag: bruce wayne
Mission briefing…
Batman: The B-52 is on the ocean floor here at a depth of 8,000 feet –
Red Hood: Or 1,333 fathoms.
Red Robin: How do you know that?
Red Hood: How do you not?
Batman and Superman: *watching Red Robin and Robin arguing with each other on a rooftop*
Superman: They fight like brothers.
Batman: That’s because they are.
Superman: Think of hanging out with Hal as an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone. Try something new.
Batman: Hn. If I wanted that I’d go do Zumba.
Hal: So, Bats, what do you think I should do?
Bruce: Find the person you would least likely ask for advice and go to them.
Hal: I thought that’s what I was doing.
What Batman’s day is really like…
Dick: *watching on as one of his brothers does something*
Dick: Bruce? Did you just see – ?
Bruce: Yes. I’ll deal with that tomorrow.
Commissioner Gordon: *lights a cigarette and takes a drag*
Batman: *lands beside him and stares at a covered body on the ground*
Commissioner Gordon: You, me, working on a crime scene. It’s our happy place.
Nightwing: Bruce is more than a teacher to me.
Superman: Like a big brother?
Nightwing: More like a dad.
When you realize that little Robin’s not so little anymore…
Damian: I was going to spend the night with my special little lady –
Dick: *falls off the chandelier he was dangling from*
Jason: *chokes on the cigarette he was about to light up*
Tim: *wakes up*
Alfred: *accidentally pours tea on Tim*
Bruce: *freezes up*
Damian: – but she’s got worms and I had to take her to the vet.
Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Jason, and Tim: *collective sigh of relief*
Batman: *getting off the phone with Talia*
Catwoman: Meow. I wish our phone conversations were as flirty.
Batman: She threatened to kill me, Selina.
Catwoman: I can do that.
~ · ~ · ~
You do not want her jealous, Bruce.
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