When you can’t wait to find out what Bruce got you for Christmas…
Jason: Alfred! We’ve got to break Alfred. Bruce tells him everything.
Tim: *looking into the distance* His goatee holds so many secrets.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
They said foolishly, not realizing that it’d be easier to get Batman to talk than to break Alfred.
Roy: You’re firing me from the Outlaws?
Jason: You kidding me? You’re the best arrow guy we got. I’m firing you as my best friend.
In the middle of a jungle mission (and both of Red Robin’s legs are broken)…
Robin: Well, we definitely can’t leave Drake!
Red Hood: We have to. Timbo, I’m sorry –
Red Robin: No, you’re not.
Red Hood: I am, actually, which, whatever, but –
Robin: *cocks and aims a gun at Red Hood* We are not leaving Drake!
Red Hood: Uh, what do you even think you’re doing?
Robin: I AM TAKING COMMAND!
Red Hood and Red Robin: *look at each other*
Red Hood and Red Robin: *laugh hysterically*
Red Hood: Oh, my goodness gracious! *wipes tears* Okay. Thanks, Little D. I think we needed that.
Red Robin: *clutching his stomach* We did. We really did.
Damian would be the first to recommend leaving Red Robin behind
^ Partly why his two older brothers find the situation hysterical. (He’s changed a lot, though. I think he’d be more protective of his family – including Timmy – by now.)
Red Hood: *gets off the phone*
Artemis: Duty calls?
Red Hood: Worse. Batman.
Red Hood [to Red Robin and Robin]: The two of you agreeing with each other? Now, that’s scary.
On the way to Red Robin’s new safe house…
Steph: I can’t wait to see the inside of Tim’s safe house! I’m gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Harper: I bet it’s really fancy. Like Wayne-Manor-fancy.
Jason: No. It’s probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he’s on Sleep Mode.
Robin: *sitting on a gargoyle atop the Wayne Enterprises tower, scrolling through the incorrect-batfamily-quotes Tumblr page on his phone*
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: *scoffs* What childish nonsense! I do not talk like that. Drake, on the other hand –
Robin:
Robin: What the…
Robin: Haaaaa – *breaks out in maniacal laughter*
Nightwing: *somersaults from a dark corner, escrima sticks lighted* Stand down, Robin!
Red Hood: *runs out of the stairwell and onto the rooftop, guns cocked* No need to go crazy there, kid!
Red Robin: *lands onto the rooftop and folds his “wings” behind him, bo staff at the ready* Wait till Batman hears of –
Robin: *wheezing*
Nightwing: Where’s… ? *looking around, utterly confused*
Robin: *wiping gleeful tears from his eyes* Where’s what, Grayson?
Red Robin: Don’t act dumb! The villain you were harrassing! Where are they, brat?!
Robin: …
Red Hood: Look, D, I may be the black sheep of the family and probably not the best example, but the use of excessive force –
Robin: *drags his hand down his face in annoyance* Shut. Up.
Robin: *shows them his phone*
His brothers: *dumbfounded*
Robin: Ridiculous, right? Ha ha ha.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
When your best friend decides to move out of the safe house you’ve been sharing…
Roy: Where ya gonna go?
Jason: I don’t know. I gotta finish packing up and then I’m gonna head out that door, dude, and I’m just gonna open myself up to the universe.
Roy: So, moving back to Batman’s?
Jason:
Jason: Yeah. Yeah, pretty much straight over.
Roy: You mad?
Jason: Give you three guesses, Roy.
Roy: No?
Roy: … No?
Roy: … No?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 