Dick: Hey, Little Wing.
Jason: Screw you.
Damian: Excuse me, that is no way to address a superior.
Jason: Oh, yeah? Screw you, too.
Tim: *walking into the room and bumping into Jason, who’s fuming on his way out*
Tim: Whoa. What was that all about?
Alfred: *gives them a pointed look*
Alfred: You all forgot his death anniversary. It was yesterday.
Tag: big brother of the year
Why the Batman’s never flying commercial with any of his sons again…
Jason: *chucking the menu for first class at the seat behind him* How many beers can we order at once?
Flight attendant: I’m not sure… No one’s ever asked that.
Bruce: *at the seat behind Jason* Hrrrn.
Meeting a new member of the Batfamily be like…
Red Hood: I believe we’ve met before.
Clayface: *holds out a hand* Jason Todd.
Red Hood: *staring at the clay dripping from his doppleganger’s fingers* No. I’m Jason Todd. You’re the shapeshifting pile of mud who’s in deep trouble.
Red Hood: *peeks from behind a crate at a group of burly men in state-of-the-art armor guarding the warehouse entrance*
Red Hood: *whispering* How are we going to get past them without a gun fight?
Red Robin: *studying a digital blueprint of the warehouse* I’ll tell you how John McClane would do it: the vents.
Red Hood: *stuffs his revolvers back into their holsters and nods enthusiastically* Blast the A/C, they get chilly, they leave to find sweaters.
Red Robin:
Red Robin: No. We’re going to climb through them.
Red Hood: Even better! Classic use of vents.
Arriving late to a Batfamily briefing (and ignoring your adoptive father’s glare) be like…
Red Hood: *tipping an imaginary hat* Ladies, gentlemen. Don’t get up, I wouldn’t for you.
Preparing for an an undercover mission be like…
Red Robin: Jason is “Douche Bag”.
Nightwing: Hey, that’s not a code name. That’s just an insult.
Robin: Plus, everyone would know who you meant, Drake.
Red Hood: Yeah!
Nightwing: *staring at broken frames with pictures of Batman and Jason as Robin in them*
Red Hood: *shrugs* We deal with stress differently. You reminisce. I smash things.
– • – • – • – • –
Like you weren’t crying like a baby while doing it, Jay.
Tim: *turns on his boombox and tunes it to an 80s pop music station*
Tim: *gets up on the table and starts dancing the “running man”*
Bruce:
Dick:
Babs:
Jason:
Steph:
Cass:
Damian: -Tt-
Duke:
Alfred:
Tim: I’m rocking so much adrenaline right now! My blood is basically Red Bull!
Alfred: *nods at Jason*
Jason: *tackles Tim in the middle of the “cabbage patch”*
Alfred: *waits for the table to be cleared of his grandsons, then lays out breakfast entrèes for everyone*
– • – • – • – • –
Good morning from the Manor!
Trying to eavesdrop on Bruce and Alfred be like…
Dick and Jason: *peering through a vent in the Manor*
Dick: They’ve been in there a while.
Jason: Yep.
Dick: Can’t be good.
Jason: Nope.
Dick: Think they’re talking about me?
Jason: No, I think they’re talking about me.
Dick: Yeah. That makes way more sense.
Trying to eavesdrop on Bruce and Alfred be like…
Dick and Jason: *peering through a vent in the Manor*
Dick: They’ve been in there a while.
Jason: Yep.
Dick: Can’t be good.
Jason: Nope.
Dick: Think they’re talking about me?
Jason: No, I think they’re talking about me.
Dick: Yeah. That makes way more sense.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 