Tim: Never in all my life have I been that humiliated.
Damian: I beg to differ.
Jason: Yeah. Me, too.
Tag: big brother of the year
Jason: Hey, Alf, could you pass me that can of beer?
Alfred: Master Jason, it’s breakfast.
Jason: … And a piece of toast?
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *brushes his teeth*
Jason: *pauses*
Jason: *exasperated sigh*
Jason [to Dick]: You’re flirting with your reflection again. Cut it out.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And that is why “NEW BATHROOM – Jason” is a suggestion found in the Wayne Manor Home Improvement suggestion box (set up by Alfred).
When you’re trying to give your youngest son the “birds and bees” talk but your other sons want to stick around to see how it goes…
Bruce [to Damian]: *opens mouth to talk*
Bruce: *hears a camera shutter sound*
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: *opens mouth to talk again*
Bruce: *notices the reflection of three heads peeking from a crevice in the cave on the Batcomputer screen*
Bruce [to Damian]: Oh, good, everyone’s in here. I was worried we’d have a private conversation for once.
A voice from the crevice: You’re welcome, Bruce!
If Damian came to the Manor as a baby…
Dick: *sniffs*
Tim: Who’s gonna change the little brat?
Jason: We’re going to let him roam free in the backyard and nature will take its course.
Jason: Hey, Alfred, where’s Bruce?
Alfred: Master Bruce is… resting.
Jason: Resting “brooding? Resting “shot through the timestream by Omega Beams”? Come on, help me out here.
Why Dick is Damian’s favorite older brother…
Tim [about Damian]: In a way, I think we learned more from him than he learned from us.
Jason: Well, obviously. Because we taught him nothing.
On how he plans to celebrate Father’s Day…
Bruce: My sons are going to make me breakfast in bed.
Bruce: Well, actually, Alfred’s going to make the breakfast and I’m going to get in bed, but they’re going to bring it to me.
Red Hood: You still assume that I’m a terrorist!
Nightwing: If you’re not, I’m sorry. If you are, I’m a hero. I’m willing to take that chance.
After hours of searching the Manor…
Alfred: *throws hands up in exasperation as the five-course dinner he prepared grows cold* Well, the boys are off. I wonder where they went.
Bruce: Out of town.
Alfred: How do you know, Master Bruce?
Bruce: I told them not to.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 