Tag: big brother of the year

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Red Hood: *glares at criminal*

Red Hood: I’m going to go oil my chainsaw.

Red Robin: What?

Nightwing: *whispering* Jay, we don’t need the chainsaw. Is that what’s in that bag?

Red Hood: Oh, we do. Because drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance. A beautiful dance with a chainsaw.

Red Robin: He makes less and less sense as the days go by.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Must be all that Lazarus Pit fluid.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Red Hood: Get off me, Dick!

Nightwing: Hold still for a sec, Li’l Wing!

Red Hood: Why can’t you just get Timbo or the Brat to do this with you?

Nightwing: Because @wingedskyes said that we were their favorite, Jay, so we can’t disappoint! *wiggles eyebrows and grins*

Red Hood: *exhasperated sigh*

Nightwing: Plus, Timmy hasn’t slept in three days and Dami’s… Well, I don’t even want to know what he’d do if I so much as suggested this to him.

Red Hood: Well, yeah, fine, but why this, though? What if I just spelled their name out on the wall with bullets in thirty seconds flat, huh? That might be impressive.

Nightwing: Yeah, but Alfred would ground us for life. Now, could you bend your back just a liiiittle bit more –

Red Hood: Hey, newsflash, Goldie, on this Earth I didn’t grow up all flexible like you –

Nightwing: Or maybe you could –

Red Hood: I swear, D, you twist my arm one more time –

Alfred: *walks into the Manor’s gymnastics room with @wingedskyes in tow*

Alfred: *stares stoically at Dick and Jason, whose bodies are contorted to spell out “W” and “S” atop a balancing beam*

Nightwing: *smiling proudly* Ta-daaa!

Red Hood: *loses his footing and falls to the floor*

Red Hood: *groaning* Ta-daAaa…

Alfred: *looks at the boys, then at @wingedskyes *

Alfred: Dinner will be served shortly. Don’t be late. *walks out*

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Thank you!

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Damian: *guarding the door at Red Robin’s Nest*

Tim: *on a gurney*

Jason: *knocks*

Damian: *opens the door* Todd, this really isn’t the best time. Drake is pretty sick.

Jason: Oh, no. Poor Timbo. Is Damian taking good care of you?

Tim: Not really.

Jason: Would you like me to take care of you?

Tim: Not really.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Where’re Alfred and Dick when you need ‘em?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…

Alfred: *filling a syringe with anesthesia*

Red Hood: *gripping Damian’s hand with both of his*

Red Hood: It’s okay, little buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.

Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!

Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!

Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!

Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?

Robin: *glances at the newly emptied syringe being held by Alfred*

Robin: No.

Red Hood: You’re welcome.

Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.

Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Bruce: *picks up the Gotham Gazette*

Dick: *doing pull-ups using the kitchen chandelier*

Alfred: *tugs at Dick’s feet to get him off the chandelier*

Tim: *typing furiously on his laptop, eyes narrowed with concentration*

Jason: *pours a fifth shot of espresso into Tim’s mug*

Damian: *picks bacon off Jason’s plate and feeds it to Alfred the Cat*

Bruce: *puts down the newspaper, buries his face in a hand and shakes his head*

Bruce: Just one question, boys. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

I’d say stick to the Business Section, Bruce, but I guess it’s kind of hard to avoid the headlines, huh?