Red Robin: *crouching behind the giant coin in the Batcave*
Nightwing: *walks in*
Red Robin: *to his walkie-talkie* The Hug Machine is here. I repeat, the Hug Machine is here. Smiling on all cylinders.
The rest of the Batfamily: *temporarily stop brooding to find hiding places*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Dick tends to get in the way of angst and sadness.
Tag: big brother of the year
When asked how he spent time with his brothers yesterday…
Jason: The dentist pulled my tooth out. It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to the guys that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.
Jason: Plus, it’s always fun to see Tim faint.
Batman: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*
Nightwing: *parkour-ing from giant memento to giant memento in the Batcave*
Red Hood: *aiming at the bats with his guns (”What? For target practice!”)*
Red Robin: *rambles on about his Multiverse theories to Bruce while dragging around an IV stand with a pouch of pure liquid caffeine*
Batgirl: *taking a selfie while Spoiler braids her hair*
Robin: *approaching Alfred with Batcow in tow (”I need more pet food, Pennyworth.”)*
Lark: *Snapchatting everyone while ducking to avoid Dick (”Typical Tuesdays”)*
Batman: *finds it hard to focus, stops typing*
Batman: *looks at the chaos that is his children*
Alfred: *serves Bruce some tea*
Batman: Alfred, this is like a waking nightmare of happiness.
Alfred: *grins and walks away*
Orphan: *hugs Bruce’s neck from behind*
Batman: *grins as his daughter skips away to join the fray*
Jason: *doing wheelies, stoppies, and burnouts*
Jason: *jumps while his motorcycle’s mid-air, does a backflip, then gets back on and lands gracefully in front of Tim*
Tim: *sips coffee* This morning I saw a YouTube video of a puppy riding a motorcycle, so my bar for stunning is pretty high.
Jason: *shakes head* Why are you like this?
Tim: *wearing a cowboy hat and riding on the giant dinosaur’s head in the Batcave* Caffeine, baby!
Trying to cheer up your brother be like…
Dick: When stuff like this gets me down, you know what I like to do?
Jason: *rolls eyes* Sing “Hakuna Matata” like an eight-year-old girl?
Dick: Wrong, smarty-pants. It’s “Everything Is Awesome” from “The Lego Movie”.
Because surveilling is caring…
Jason [to Tim]: Did you really put Tam under surveillance before you asked her out? Timbo, I underestimated you.
Mission briefing…
Red Robin: Understood?
Nightwing: *double thumbs up*
Robin: *salutes*
Red Hood: *turns off Spotify streaming in his helmet*
Red Hood: Okay, I’m just nodding here and pretending like I have some idea of what you’re talking about.
Tim: I’m going to go talk to Bruce right now because I am emotionally mature.
Jason: Show off.
Red Hood and Red Robin: *wounded, out of weapons, and crouching behind crates as armed henchmen close in on them from every corner*
Red Hood: *grins*
Red Robin: Jason, “I could take out those guys” isn’t a plan.
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