When you call for back-up but end up battling a bunch of rogues by yourself…
Medic [speaking into the radio]: He’s lost a lot of blood.
Red Hood: I didn’t lose it. I’ve been sitting in it for hours, waiting for one of my brothers to get back from dance class or something. *stands up and drags himself to his motorcycle, leaving a trail of blood behind him*
Tag: big brother of the year
Preparing for Family Patrol Night…
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash* What, Todd, for the first time ever, doesn’t want to do this?
Nightwing: *stuffing cereal packets into strategic places in his suit* No, no, he does. It’s just that he’s been so mopey.
Red Robin: *checking the coordinates of a supervillain’s lair on the Batcomputer* Well, that could have something to do with the fact that today’s his death anniversary.
Nightwing: I don’t know what it is.
Red Robin: I think that’s what it is.
Robin: -Tt- Who knows with him?
Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
Warehouse: *explodes*
Red Robin: *watches as debris slowly fall into the Gotham Harbor*
Red Hood: *looks at Tim questioningly*
Red Robin: Bruce’s not going to say anything because we’re not going to tell him.
Red Hood: We’re not?
Red Robin: No, we’re not.
Red Hood: Alright. I like that.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Because Tim would totally propose this and Jason would totally agree.
Tim: *mumbling while walking out of the kitchen*
Dick:
Dick: Did Timmy say something weird again?
Jason: *without looking up from the newspaper he’s reading* When does he not?
Paintball war at the Manor…
Dick: *whispering* Why did the Resurrected Robins stop firing?
Tim: *listening to every sound* I don’t know… They’re probably out of ammo.
Jason: *yelling from a makeshift fort in Damian’s room* Hey, Fake-Dead Robins, we are giving you a chance to surrender!
Dick: *aims his paintball marker at the draped Batman bedsheet* Yeah, they’re definitely out of ammo.
Damian: Drake’s upset with me, and I’m not clear as to why.
Jason: Okay, were you talking before you he got upset?
Damian: Yes.
Jason: That’s probably it.
Dick and Jason: *watching as Tim downs his fourth cup of coffee, spilling some on his ketchup and mustard-stained shirt, burps loudly, and wipes dried slobber off his face*
Dick: *sighs*
Jason: I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s ask Bruce not to get a new one.
When another one of your best friend’s “brilliant” ideas somehow leaves you both stuck in a maze…
Red Hood: Maybe we should split up.
Arsenal: Split up? Jaybird, no! We can fix this partnership!
Red Hood: No, no, I didn’t mean –
Arsenal: Fine! You want out? Then, go! I can make it on my own. Before I met you, I had other friends and dreams.
Red Hood: I was talking about –
Arsenal: Oh, please take me back! The solo vigilante scene is a nightmare! I’m begging you!
Red Hood: I just meant we should split up to get out of this maze…
Arsenal: Deep down, I – I guess I knew that.
Red Hood: Now, there must be a way out –
Arsenal: Of our partnership? I don’t want to live! *runs off screaming*
Red Hood: *sighs*
Red Hood: *opens a hidden doorway and exits*
Why you don’t try to psychoanalyze your best friend…
Roy: What’re you afraid of, Jaybird?
Jason: I’m afraid of what I’m gonna do to you if you don’t shut up.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And don’t tell me that Roy didn’t ask this while lying belly down on Jason’s bed with his chin propped up by both hands and his bent legs crisscrossing in the air.
Inviting your superfriends over for your safe-housewarming…
Arsenal: *talking on the phone* It’s our thing, Dick. Dudesgiving.
Red Hood: *unpacking weapons in the other room* Okay, no matter how many e-mails you send, that’s not real, Roy!
Arsenal: It’s real, man!
Red Hood: It’s not real! We’re not calling it that!
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