Tag: big brother of the year

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Patrol gone awry…

Robin: *angrily stomps into the Batcave*

Red Robin: *wearily takes off his combat boots*

Red Hood: *has a leather jacket tug-of-war with Ace the Bathound*

Nightwing: So… What happened out there?

Robin: Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Douche over there.

Nightwing: Who’re they?

Red Robin and Robin: They’re both Jason.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Tim: *feeling ‘er up* Ever since yesterday, I can’t stop thinking about you. I mean, I’ve known you practically the whole summer. I want you. I want you so bad.

Steph: Tim, it’s a car.

Jason: *pulls Steph aside* Let’s just leave these two kids alone.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Yup. Newly customized Redbird from Foxteca just arrived at the Manor.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

At the start of the training sessions in the “Robin War” story arc…

Agent 37: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Robin Club. The first rule of Robin Club is: you do not talk about Robin Club.

Red Hood: The second rule of Robin Club is: you do not talk about Robin Club.

Red Robin: The third rule of Robin Club: someone yells “stop”, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.

Agent 37: The fourth rule: only two Robins to a fight. The fifth rule: one fight at a time, guys and gals. The sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes. The seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to.

Robin: And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first night at Robin Club, you have to fight.

Robin: -Tt-

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Tim: I want to tell you my secret now.

Conner: Okay…

Tim: I see dead people.

Conner: …

Conner: In your dreams? While you’re awake? Dead people, like, in graves, in coffins?

Tim: Walking around like regular people.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Okay, first of all, those’re just Jason and Damian walking around the Manor. Secondly, GET SOME SLEEP, Timothy.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Why it sometimes takes forever for Batman’s sons to finish their meals (much to Alfred’s chagrin)…

Robin: *staring at a utensil on the dining table* All of my instincts and my training are telling me to use this like a weapon.

– • – • – • – • –

This is me going out on a limb here and assuming that this family still takes the time to eat.

kindaangelic:

How to Prank a Damian (Demonicus damiansis)

A Guide By Tim Drake Wayne PhD (Department of Family Dysfunction)

1. Sedate the wild Damian.

The wild Damian, or Demonicus damiansis, can often be found in one of two places – in his chambers, where he can be found painting, meditating, or grooming his animals, or in the Cave, pestering his progenitor.

2. Approach the wild Damian

This is best done with food. The creature is most attracted to hummus and pita bread, but is also partial to peanuts.

3. Avoid the Mother-Brother (Lovebugis dickus)

It should be noted that the Damian is a juvenile, and is thus under the protection of a most hysterical mother-brother amalgamation. This creature is called Dick Grayson, and should be carefully dealt with.

4. Distract the Mother-Brother

The Dick Grayson ceature can be drawn away with mention of another sibling-creature, notably, the Jaybird littlewingus.

5. Lure the Wild Damian

Now alone, it is easy to lure the wild Damian with the tantalizing hummus and pita meal. For maximum trust, claim that the meal was sent by the grandfather – Alfredus nobilis.

6. Act Quickly!

Now spring your trap! Quickly pounce upon and tie the Damian up, and hang him upside down from the coat rack.

Escape quickly, lest the Dick Grayson returns, for he is sure to be vexed.

7. You have successfully pranked your Damian!