Tim: *watches from a distance as Jason and Damian squabble over who gets to touch Alfred’s cookies first*
Tim: Dick, you ever notice how much of our job is like babysitting?
Tag: big brother of the year
On the way to Red Robin’s new safe house…
Steph: I can’t wait to see the inside of Tim’s safe house! I’m gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Harper: I bet it’s really fancy. Like Wayne-Manor-fancy.
Jason: No. It’s probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he’s on Sleep Mode.
Batman: The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me.
Red Hood: Really? Still?
When you just can’t say no to a brother in need…
Nightwing: I’ll do it.
Red Hood: I knew you would. You’re very predictable.
Nightwing & Red Hood: No, I’m not.
Nightwing & Red Hood: Stop doing that!
Nightwing & Red Hood: Peanut butter egg cereal.
Someone from Themyscira: Oooh, who’s that?
Artemis: *looks behind her and sighs happily at the red-hooded, gun-toting vigilante waving at her*
Artemis: Jason. Who proposed to me by engraving it on the back of a knife.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
In which, out of trusting Bruce, Diana gave Jason a free pass to the island.
Justice League membership deliberations…
Green Arrow [to Batman]: So, you know you can’t trust them, right? You know Red Hood and Arsenal are absurdly, irrationally, turbulently codependent on each other, right?
Starfire: First off, you’re a complete idiot to even be in this situation.
Red Hood: No one disputes that I’m an idiot.
Arsenal [to Starfire]: I tried to stop him, Babe!
Starfire: No, you didn’t.
Arsenal: No, I didn’t.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
[in Sterling Archer’s voice] Bros before… apparent threats to national security.
Watching from a rooftop as the GCPD pick up the group of notorious criminals who they’ve just tied up and left in the middle of the street…
Robin: *elbowing his brother’s hip (since he can’t reach his rib)* You’re a good fighter, Todd.
Red Hood: *returning the affection with a pat on the shoulder* Not as good as you.
Robin: That’s very true. So get out of here.
Watching “Dawn of the Dead” at the Manor…
Tim: See how that group of survivors barricaded themselves inside of a mall?
Jason: Yeah?
Tim: You’re what’s outside of the mall.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And Jason’s like, “Well, he’s not wrong…”
Dick: *won’t stop making puns during family dinner*
Jason: *puts his utensils down, wipes his mouth with a napkin, sighs, and looks his older brother in the eye*
Jason: Everything you just said makes me want to give you a wedgie in front of the others.
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