Tag: big brother of the year

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mission briefing…

Batman: *clears his throat loudly* So unless anybody *glares at Tim for two whole seconds* has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we’re gonna stick with: the Warthog. How about it, Tim?

Red Robin: Nope. No more suggestions.

Batman: Hn. Okay, now if you’ll all –

Red Hood: *blurting out* Are you sure? How ‘bout “Big Foot”?

Red Robin: *gritting his teeth* It’s okay.

Nightwing: *trying to stifle his laughter* “Unicorn”?

Red Robin: *gripping his bo staff tighter* No, really. I’m… I’m cool.

Robin: *smirking* “Sasquatch”?

The Signal: *elbowing Tim* “Leprechaun”?

Red Robin: *elbowing Duke back and getting really annoyed* Hey, he doesn’t need any help, guys.

Spoiler: *yelling as she enters the Batcave* “Phoenix”?

Red Robin: *sighs and rubs his face in frustration* Guys.

Batman: *grinning* Barbara, what’s the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats.

Batgirl: *sarcastically looking it up on the Batcomputer* Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, Bruce.

Orphan: *drops down from the ceiling* Tim, Chupa-thingy, how ‘bout that? I like it. Got a ring to it.

Red Robin: *attempts to melt onto the Batcave floor*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

An Incorrect Interview with the Batfamily…

Batman: I have it on good authority that you’ve been posting these, quote-unquote, incorrect quotes about our family on this so-called… *narrows his eyes* Tumblr.

Me: *blinks*

Me: *shuddering slightly* Well, see, Mr. Batman, um,Sir Wayne, uh, Batwayne –

Nightwing: *gets up from his chair and hugs me tightly*

Me: Oh! Oh, okay. Wow. Thanks? So, um, do you have a question or… ?

Nightwing: *shakes his head and grins at me* I just wanted to lighten the mood. You know how our father tends to blur the line between an interview and an interrog–

Red Hood: *clears his throat loudly*

Red Hood: Why, um… Why the heck do you call me *reading something scribbled on his palm* “Big Brother of the Year”?

Me: Well, see, Jay, even though you see yourself as the “black sheep” of the family, I do believe that there’s some goodness in your heart and that you do care very much about them. I think Croc said it best: you’re a good kid trying to be bad, and – Are you okay?

Red Hood’s Helmet: – bZzt bzZt –

Me: Your helmet’s… There’s smoke coming out of your –

Red Hood: *gets up from his seat and speed-walks out of the room*

Me: Did I say something wrong?

Red Robin: No. His tears must’ve fried the circuits in his helmet. Anyway, is this where you live? *shows me a map on his tablet with coordinates to my residence*

Me: *wide-eyed* How’d you – ?

Red Robin: Don’t worry about it. Now, my real question is, is there a lot of coffee where you’re from?

Me: Well –

Red Robin: Like really strong cofee? *zooming in and out of the map* For some reason, I can’t get intel –

Robin: *shoves Tim out of the way*

Robin: Pretender! Where do you get the nerve –

Me: – to make you look adorable? Look, Dami, I can’t help it –

Black Bat: *grapple-hooks into the room and grabs me*

Spoiler: Alright, creeps, that’s enough blogger harrassment for today!

Batgirl: *whispering into my ear* I’m so sorry you had to go through this.

Alfred: *walks into the room*

Room: *falls silent*

Alfred: No dessert for all of you.

Everyone (including Bruce): *whines*

Alfred: As for you *looks at me*…

Me: *blinks*

Alfred: … we would appreciate it if you joined us for dinner. *walks out of the room with Batcow and Titus in tow*

The Signal: *turns off the camera and runs after Alfred* But I was just filming everything, I swear!

Catwoman: *comes in through the kitchen window* Meow. Did I miss the interview?

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

I guess this is just my way of saying THANK YOU for your continued patronage.

Sincerely *with lots of cute, little hearts*,

a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes

#TBT with ❤

Good Ask… Hmm. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. Well, it’s no mystery that Bruce holds a special place in my ❤, and this took a lot of thought, so maybe jot this down. You ready?

$*@!?$#+*, you freakin’ ®¥π|£&#*!

* bleeeeeeeeep*

Me: *rushes into the room and grabs my phone* JASON! What –?!

Jason: *running away*

Me: That ask was for me, you little –

Me: *trying to catch my breath* Sorry about that, @crash-the-mode . To be honest, it takes me a while to come up with nicknames because –

Jason: *yelling from across the room* And, man oh man, listen to this, @crash-the-mode , Roy’s is gonna be –

Me: Zip it, Hood!

Me: As I was saying… It’s because it takes a while for me to come up with nicknames that feel right to me. Plus, I’m only comfortable nicknaming characters who I know more intimately than the others, so… A few at a time, I guess. Thanks for this Ask. I truly appreciate it. 🙂

Jason: *in the background, jotting down nicknames on a Batburger wrapper, talking to himself* I. Am. A. Genius! *chef’s kiss*