Imagine:
Red Hood: It’s times like these that I really wish I’d listened to what Batman told me.
Arsenal: Why? What did he tell you?
Red Hood: I don’t know. I didn’t listen.
Tag: big brother of the year
Breaking up a fight between Nightwing and Red Hood after breaking up a fight between Red Hood and Red Robin…
Robin: The next one of you that opens up your mouth and says something, you’re gonna have to deal with me!
Arsenal: You’re still in pain?
Red Hood: No, I just like saying “ow”.
Introducing your older brother to the team be like…
Kon: Is your brother hitting on Kara?
Jason: *twenty feet away, getting a Kryptonian slap to the face*
Tim: Not successfully.
Arsenal: Jason, our friendship is built on lies?!
Red Hood: … And laughter, and stalking criminals, and love.
When you’re feeling underappreciated by your best friend…
Arsenal [to Red Hood]: Oh, I already know what your next obituary will say: Jason Peter Todd, he had the very. BeST. FRIENDS.
Discussing how to get back at your bully of a tiny brother…
Jason: Why don’t you give Damian one of those pills you take? That’ll make him give up on his dreams.
Tim: Relaxarex doesn’t make you give up on your dreams! That’s a side effect!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Jason’s jaw drops. That’s a real thing? I was kidding, Timbo… C’mere, let me – stop pushing – let me hug you.
Getting off duty and finding an intruder in your apartment be like…
Dick: *walking into the dark kitchen, taking off his BPD uniform*
Dick: *pauses when he notices the light*
Dick: *carefully grabs an escrima stick from a hidden compartment in the cupboard*
Dick: *prepares to pounce on the intruder behind the open refrigerator door…*
Dick: aaaaAAHHHH… Huh?
Red Hood: *blinks*
Dick: *blinks*
Red Hood: *mouth stuffed with donuts and face covered in sugar sprinkles*
Red Hood: What are you, the donut police? Because if you are, you’re legally bound to tell me, or else it’s entrapment.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Don’t judge your brother, Dick. Beating up criminals can really build up an appetite.
Duke: I just spent the last few years thinking that you guys knew more than me about life, and I just found out that you guys are just as dumb as me.
Jason: Da doi.
Tim: Yeah. Da doi.
When your faux fiancée won’t believe how nosy your siblings can be…
Tim [to Tam]: As soon as we touch, the blinds will open, and three annoying, but lovable, misfits will be staring at us.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And one creepy, but loveable, Batdad will be spying through binoculars from three rooftops away.
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