Jason [to Tim]: This is an official apology. I’m a horrible person and I’m sorry. What I did was horrible, even by our standards. And, let’s face it, we’ve set the bar very low.
Tag: big brother of the year
When your little brother’s just a little too attached to his pets…
Damian: *enters the Batcave carrying Alfred the Cat and pulling Batcow by a leash*
Damian: Can you take a cat and a cow to the theater?
Jason: Uhhh, no?
Tim: Of course not.
Damian: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
Tim: *ugly-crying* How can something so small cause so much pain?!
Jason: *turns his head towards whatever Tim’s looking at*
Jason: *sees a sneering Damian*
Jason: *nods his head thoughtfully*
Tim [about Damian]: … And when I dropped him off at the Kent Farm, he even gave me a hug!
Jason: Did he think you were choking, or… ?
HA. Yes, @cerddom, yes.
Falling out with your best friend be like…
Jason: You can tell me, y’know. We never talked about it. What did Roy say about me?
Dick: It’s nothing too terrible…
Jason: You can tell me.
Dick: It wasn’t that bad…
Jason: Just be honest.
Dick:
Dick: He once called you an “ass***e” forty-six times in one sitting.
Jason: Wow.
Dick: Yeah, the people at the next table complained.
Working with your paranoid, over-the-top vigilante-detective-adoptive father on a case be like…
Batman: I sent you a text with my location every two hours.
Red Hood: I was busy.
Batman: Hn. I left some urine in your safe house.
Red Hood: Tell me it’s in a cup.
Why you don’t try to psychoanalyze your best friend…
Roy: What’re you afraid of, Jaybird?
Jason: I’m afraid of what I’m gonna do to you if you don’t shut up.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And don’t tell me that Roy didn’t ask this while lying belly down on Jason’s bed with his chin propped up by both hands and his bent legs crisscrossing in the air.
At the Kent Farm…
Bruce: *in a double-breasted suit*
Dick: *adjusts his bow tie*
Jason: *fumbles with his cufflinks*
Tim: *licks hand and flattens Damian’s hair*
Damian: *slaps Tim’s hand away*
Pa Kent and Ma Kent: …
Clark: So, uh, you guys dress up for Thanksgiving?
Bruce: Doesn’t everybody?
Tim [about Damian]: … And when I dropped him off at the Kent Farm, he even gave me a hug!
Jason: Did he think you were choking, or… ?
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: Very dapper!
Jason: *trying desperately to loosen his bowtie* Alfred dressed me.
Dick: Like a Ken doll.
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