Roy [to Jason]: For a dead guy, you look awfully healthy.
Jason: *in John Mulaney’s voice* That’s the thing I’m sensitive about!
Tag: big brother of the year
Criminal: *Batcuffed* I’m supposed to fear you, too?!
Red Hood: *standing beside Batman* It would be better for you if you did.
Refuge at one of Red Hood’s pristine safe houses…
Nightwing: How’re you holding up?
Red Robin: Well, I’m gushing blood into a bucket because Jason doesn’t want to stain his new carpet. So… pretty great.
Breaking into Arkham Asylum…
Red Robin: Why are they all staring at you?
Red Hood: I’m kind of a big deal around here.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *wakes up, yawns, stretches, sees “3:30” on his phone clock*
Tim: …
Tim: Uh. What are you doing here?
Roy: *bruised, bloodied, in a tattered Arsenal uniform, and perched on the window sill*
Roy: Your brother’s gonna wake up mad at me. When he does, be sure to remind him who his best friend is.
Red Robin: On a scale of 1 to 10, how much am I going to hate this little plan of yours?
Red Hood: About an 85.
Red Robin: Oh, good.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
DC, please give them their own series together.
Why you don’t hide Damian’s things…
Damian: *wearing his Robin uniform in the kitchen*
Dick: *chokes on his cereal*
Jason: *pinches his nose to stifle his laughter*
Tim: What the f…
Damian: Perhaps I’m not making myself clear here. This is a threat.
Entering Robin’s room be like…
Jason: *whispering* It’s quiet.
Tim: *hissing* Of course it’s quiet. It’s a trap.
Damian: *a pair of narrowed eyes in the shadows*
And yet.
Dick: Jason, you’re just trying to hurt me to distract you from your own internal pain.
Dick: *ruffles Jason’s hair* Also, you should use less conditioner, because this is a flat mess.
Red Hood [to a horrified and upset Alfred]: I wasn’t hurt that badly, Alf. Dr. Thompkins said all my bleeding was internal. That’s where the blood’s supposed to be.
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