Jason: Hey, so you’re planning a surprise birthday party for the old Bat? I think he’s onto you.
Dick: Yeah, so please, please, please don’t say anything to Bruce.
Jason: You want me to lie to him?
Dick: Is that a problem?
Jason: Nah.
Tag: big brother of the year
Angst, a summary…
Arsenal: You can either go or help me.
Red Hood: Okay, I’ll go.
Arsenal: Okay, but before you go, can you help me?
When your little brother’s just a little too attached to his pets…
Damian: *enters the Batcave carrying Alfred the Cat and pulling Batcow by a leash*
Damian: Can you take a cat and a cow to the theater?
Jason: Uhhh, no?
Tim: Of course not.
Damian: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
Robin: You are the worst crime fighter ever, Todd!
Red Hood: You know, I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm, and a severely bruised Adam’s apple, but that really hurt.
Dick: *walks into the Batcave wearing the 80′s version of his Nightwing suit*
Dick: Well, excuse me, my fashion-impaired siblings. I am here to tell you that collars are back.
Jason: And that, this time, they’ve ganged up to form one giant, super collar!
Why it’s pointless to mother-hen Red Hood…
Jason [to the rest of the Batfamily]: Look, uh, I appreciate your enthusiasm. Really, I do. It’s always nice to hear from family. But for your own good, I strongly suggest you get a life.
Post-traning session at the Manor…
Nightwing: *trying to catch his breath and wiping sweat off his face*
Red Hood: *examining his broken helmet while holding an ice pack against his temple*
Red Robin: *throwing his halved bo staff into the fireplace*
Nightwing [to Robin]: In everyone’s defense, I think the most worthy opponent of yours is… you.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Well, since your sisters were out shopping during this whole ordeal, one cannot say that with absolute certainty.
Jason [to Titus]: Oh, you must be the little brat’s new dog. I just want to apologize in advance for the things I’m gonna blame on you.
Commissioner Gordon [about Red Hood]: I’ve got everything I need to convict your boy, except for motive, means, and opportunity.
Batman: You also have no evidence.
Commissioner Gordon: That’s implied.
“Batman: Under the Hood”, a summary…
Batman: Jason, I apologize. I only say this at gunpoint, but it’s true. I love you.