Dick: Thanks again for helping me look for Tim.
Jason: No problem. I’ll check the dumpster.
Dick: …
Dick: We’re not looking for “dead” Tim.
Jason: Atta boy. You stay optimistic.
Tag: big brother of the year
Bizarro: You am show Bizarro some love! *high-fives Roy, who gets thrown across the room instantly *
Arsenal [to Red Hood]: *gets up, dusts himself off, and mutters* I hate showing Bizarro love.
After a nasty argument with Bruce…
Red Hood: CROWBARS AND BOMBS MAY BREAK MY BONES –
Batman: *walks away and is finally out of earshot *
Red Hood: *sniffling*… but words will hurt me forever.
Trying to enter their safe house…
Jason: -Tt- The magnetic door is broken. Fifth time or so it won’t open.
Roy: Maybe there’s a penny stuck in there.
Jason: Why a penny?
Roy: No reason.
Jason: You stick a penny in there?
Roy: Nah, I was just making small talk.
Jason: If I find a penny in there, I’m taking you down.
Seeing Damian trip and fall flat on his face and break a front tooth…
Tim [to Jason]: *sips coffee* By the by, this moment is so great that I would cheat on that other moment with it, marry it, and raise a family of tiny little moments.
Roy visiting Jason in Gotham City after their falling out…
Roy [to himself]: Just tell him how you feel without sounding like a girl for once.
Roy [to Jason]: I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.
When your best friend’s acting a little too chipper and friendly for someone in a Mexican standoff with a Gothamite hit squad…
Red Hood: *whispering* What’s wrong with you? Are you… drunk?
Arsenal: No!
Arsenal: Yes.
Red Hood: What the heck happened to you?
Arsenal: I found a liquor store.
Red Hood: And?
Arsenal: I drank it.
Damian: Drake.
Tim: Brat. The bet ends today. Are you ready?
Damian: I was born ready.
Tim: To lose? The whole question was, “Are you ready to lose?” and you said you were born that way.
Damian: Twist my words all you want.
Tim: Okay.
Damian: I’m winning this bet.
Jason: What bet? What’re you guys talking about?
Dick: Seriously? The bet? They’ve been keeping score all year. It comes up all the time. What are you doin’ all day?
Jason: Nothin’. Why, you wanna hang out?
Bruce being suspiciously… relaxed…
Dick: *watches as Alfred heads back to the kitchen carrying an empty softdrink bottle* What’s going on?
Dick: *spots Bruce sitting on a loveseat by the fireplace* Aha! What are you doing?
Bruce: Nothing. *pops the bottle cap off with just his index finger* Just enjoying a taste of my favorite beverage, the soda pop.
Jason: *feigns shock* Really? I have never seen you enjoy soda pop before.
Bruce: Hn.
Tim: *narrows his eyes* Have some now.
Bruce: *takes a sip* Ah, it’s delicious.
Damian: I don’t buy it, Father! You’re making the same face you made when you found Alfred’s chocolate chip cookie bits in your trail mix.
Dick: Something’s up. I’m patting you down. *proceeds to do just that, Officer Grayson-style*
Dick: Darn it, nothing but a non-surprisingly toned set of abs.
It’s 10 AM on a Sunday, kids. Give your father a break.
Red Hood [to a horrified and upset Alfred]: I wasn’t hurt that badly, Alf. Dr. Thompkins said all my bleeding was internal. That’s where the blood’s supposed to be.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 