Sending your brother the coordinates to a criminal mastermind’s lair be like…
Red Robin [on the Comm Link]: You got this. You come back.
Red Hood: Promise.
Red Robin: Asswipe.
Red Hood: Jerk.
Tag: big brother of the year
Tim: I’m not moping.
Jason: You got up at, like, 4 PM.
Which is actually a good thing. Timmy could use the sleep.
Red Hood: *wiping blood away from his busted lip* You made one big mistake, you ancient dirtbag.
Ra’s al Ghul: And what was that?
Red Hood: You pissed off your grandson.
Robin: *spits out a broken tooth and cracks his knuckles*
Sparring sessions at Wayne Manor…
Jason: *coming out of the training room and cradling a broken arm* I can’t believe we just got beat up by a girl.
Tim: *following soon after and massaging his sore jaw* Let’s never speak of this again.
Cass: *grinning from ear to ear*
Dick: Timmy, what would you do if you were attacked by an invisible, malevolent force?
Tim: *shrugs* I’d tell Jason to lay off the bean burritos at lunch.
Damian: *walks away after insulting Jason*
Jason: He’s a mean kid.
Tim: So, what? You’re mean, too.
Jason: Yes, but not to you!
Tim: Yesterday you told me my head was too big for my neck.
Jason: That was… constructive criticism.
Tim: Well, what am I supposed to do about it, Jay?!
Jason: As a brother, my job is only to point things out.
Jason: Did I tell you I got pepper-sprayed today?
Tim: You say that like it’s a good thing.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And that was just for entering Damian’s room.
When your sleep-deprived, teenaged brother won’t come out of his room for three days straight…
Jason: *flips the light open*
Tim: *hisses*
Jason: You’re indoors and it’s dark. Take off the sunglasses. You look stupid.
Nightwing: *fidgeting with his suit, stretching the fabric in, um, certain places*
Red Hood: Just suck in your gut.
Nightwing: What gut?
Red Hood: The little pouch where you keep Alfred’s cookies.
Nightwing:
Red Hood:
Nightwing: *pouts and backflips away*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Not cool, Li’l Wing. Not cool.
Bruce, Dick, Tim and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from downstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
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