Interventions at the Manor…
Alfred: *wearing a mask and carrying a vacuum cleaner*
Dick: *putting on gloves*
Jason: *filling a black garbage bag with piles of… What are these, Timbo?*
Damian: *pinching his nose and looking around in pure disgust*
Tim: I want to get rid of my stuff, but all my stuff is really good and I just can’t get rid of it.
Dick: It’s not and you have to.
Jason: Everything you own is trash.
Damian: You’re basically a hoarder, Drake.
Tim: *chugs a mug of coffee and stains his three-day-old shirt further*
Tim: Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.
Tag: big brother of the year
Introducing your older brother to the team be like…
Kon: Is your brother hitting on Kara?
Jason: *twenty feet away, getting a Kryptonian slap to the face*
Tim: Not successfully.
Playing a prank on your sleep-deprived, way-too-tired-to-care brother be like…
Tim: You mean I’ve had a toy on my desk all this time?
Jason: You mean you thought you had a real landmine on your desk?
Tim: Dick’s been looking for you all morning.
Jason: What does he want?
Tim: I don’t know, but he’s dressed strangely.
Jason: Really? How can you tell?
Duke: Jason, what am I going to tell Bruce?
Jason: Well, if you learned anything today, it won’t be the truth.
Bruce: *listening in via tap* Hrrrn.
Sneaking into your little brother’s room while he’s away on a mission with Superboy be like…
Tim: *examining the different types of blades splayed on Damian’s bed*
Jason: *tiptoeing on the carpet and looking around the room* Maybe let’s not touch anything until we figure out if his stuff wants to kill us or not.
Damian: Is it okay if I do it for Grayson and not you?
Tim: Yeah.
Damian: Because I really like Grayson.
Jason: We know.
When your eldest brother asks you to look after his Blüdhaven apartment while he’s away on a mission…
Red Robin: Oh, come on, Dick’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Red Hood: *opens the refrigerator to reveal a bottle of curdy milk, a half-eaten sandwich, and a bowl of soggy Cheerios*
Red Hood: *looking unimpressed* You really believe that?
Tim: *tightening his tie and straightening out his double-breasted suit in front of a mirror*
Tim: I’m going to the movies with Tam. I don’t want her to think I think it’s a date.
Jason: Do you think it’s a date?
Tim: *clipping his cuff links and shining his black Oxford shoes* No, but she might think I think it’s a date, even though I don’t.
Jason: Or you might think she thinks you think it’s a date, even though she doesn’t.
Tim: *grooming his hair* Are we overthinking this?
Jason: *handing him a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates* Not at all.
Red Hood: Get off me, Dick!
Nightwing: Hold still for a sec, Li’l Wing!
Red Hood: Why can’t you just get Timbo or the Brat to do this with you?
Nightwing: Because @wingedskyes said that we were their favorite, Jay, so we can’t disappoint! *wiggles eyebrows and grins*
Red Hood: *exhasperated sigh*
Nightwing: Plus, Timmy hasn’t slept in three days and Dami’s… Well, I don’t even want to know what he’d do if I so much as suggested this to him.
Red Hood: Well, yeah, fine, but why this, though? What if I just spelled their name out on the wall with bullets in thirty seconds flat, huh? That might be impressive.
Nightwing: Yeah, but Alfred would ground us for life. Now, could you bend your back just a liiiittle bit more –
Red Hood: Hey, newsflash, Goldie, on this Earth I didn’t grow up all flexible like you –
Nightwing: Or maybe you could –
Red Hood: I swear, D, you twist my arm one more time –
Alfred: *walks into the Manor’s gymnastics room with @wingedskyes in tow*
Alfred: *stares stoically at Dick and Jason, whose bodies are contorted to spell out “W” and “S” atop a balancing beam*
Nightwing: *smiling proudly* Ta-daaa!
Red Hood: *loses his footing and falls to the floor*
Red Hood: *groaning* Ta-daAaa…
Alfred: *looks at the boys, then at @wingedskyes *
Alfred: Dinner will be served shortly. Don’t be late. *walks out*
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Thank you!
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