On speaker phone with The Flash and about to discuss the scientific details of a case…
Batman: This is Batman.
Green Lantern: *yelling from across the Batcave while checking out the Batjet* And Hal, so speak English!
Tag: barry allen
Batman: I have to go…
Green Lantern: *blinks*
Batman: … do scientific things to catch a serial killer.
Well, Hal’s no Barry, Bruce.
The Flash: What should I say to Batman?
Green Lantern: Oh, I don’t know. Luckily you two speak the same freakazoid language.
Just reminded me of something Barry said in “The Flash #21” (2017).
Don Allen: One time my dad was struck by lightning. That’s why he can drink as much as he wants.
—
Literally and literally.
When your wife knows that you’re not being sarcastic…
Barry [to Iris]: Let me know if you run low on supplies. I’ll take a quick trip to the 1950s for you.
Barry: … So, I went to Big Belly Burger and got a Number Two: Triple Bacon Explosion Deluxe with two orders of hash brown, two orders of chili cheese fries, and two poached eggs.
Hal: Ugh. “Number Two” is right.
At the Annual Justice League Sports Meet…
Green Lantern: *reading the mechanics* Number one is being able to run two miles in under five minutes. That’s a typo, right? That’s not humanly possible.
The Flash: *looks at the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
Your best buddy’s right there, Hal.
Iris [to Selina]: When Barry first proposed to me, he gave me a Ring Pop, but he ate it first. How did Bruce do it?
Green Lantern: Well, what gives him the right to lead us?
The Flash: As far as his qualifications go, he’s freakin’ Batman!
The Flash: *staring at Batman* How old is he again?
Green Lantern: *shrugs* Fifty-something, I guess. He has a landline and uses the world “album”.
Wrong. He’s over 75 years old.
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