Hal: What was I like in the other timeline?
Barry: You were a perfect gentleman.
Hal: Well, that’s boring.
Tag: barry allen
At the Annual Justice League Family Day…
The Batfamily: *enter the picnic area*
Hal [to Barry]: A horde. That’s the minimum. They don’t come in anything less than a horde.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Bonus:
Clark and Jon: *walk in with them*
Imagine: The Justice League at a United Nations conference after a mission goes kersplat and kaboom…
Superman: I’m sorry.
Wonder Woman: Me, too.
The Flash: Me, three.
Batman: I have no need to apologize.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
But of course. Because as far as Batman’s concerned, all of it was meticulously planned and expected. Just wait and see.
When your super-powered colleagues beg you to teach them your “edgy” ways…
Green Lantern: How’s that field training with Barry going?
Batman: Let me put it this way, Jordan: he makes you look like a natural-born vigilante.
Trying to figure out if Batman’s metahuman or not be like…
The Flash: What do you think he is?
Green Lantern: Not what I thought he’d be.
The Flash: What did you think he’d be?
Green Lantern: Fun.
The Flash (Barry): *breathes*
Green Lantern (Hal): Just so you know, bud, you’re creating six different timelines.
When your best friend can read through an entire textbook in two seconds flat…
Hal: *drops a bunch of books on Barry’s desk* I need you to upload these to your brain.
Barry: *examining a specimen under a microscope* One, I’m busy. And, two, I’m not a computer.
Hal: Actually, you kind of are. I need you to learn all of this stuff so you can teach me.
Barry: Why?
Hal: So I can impress a lady.
Barry: Such predictable motives. This is extortion.
Gossiping about Batman…
Hal [to Barry]: One butler? Very frugal for a bazillionare.
Superman: *throws his hands up in exasperation* Thank you, @hillshollow !
Batman: Hn.
Superman: Just this morning, at breakfast, for crying out loud! *imitating Bruce’s voice* “Clark, pass the ketchup.” Tone. “Jordan, you seem to enjoy eating garbage.” Tone. “Diana –” Well, you did dial it down for that one.
Batman: *puffing out his chest and putting his hands on his hips* And this is necessary at all times?
Superman:
Superman: *eyes glowing red* ARGH! *walks out of the hall*
Superman: There’s just no winning with you, Bruce!
Batman:
Batman: *smirks*
I imagine ‘that tone’ is Bruce’s usual voice…🤔
When your bestfriend accuses you of unnecessarily intimidating someone…
Superman: You say I have a face.
Batman: *scoffs*
Superman: You have a tone, and it says, “I’m gonna hit somebody.”
Batman: Barry, could you –
The Flash: It wasn’t me, I swear! *runs away*
Batman: About Gotham Bay, Arthur –
Aquaman: I am not in the mood, Bruce. *swims away*
Batman:
Batman: Hrrn.
Superman: *standing next to Bruce* 😏
Batman: -Tt-
Batman: Go ahead, Clark. Fly away.
Superman: Noooope.
Batman: Ugh. *walks away*
Superman: Right, @dangerous-doodle ?
Teaming up for (yet another) case be like…
The Flash: *proudly dangling a piece of evidence he’d just found* You wanted a smoking gun? Chew on this!
Batman:
The Flash: *sheepishly rubbing his neck* Not that one chews on a gun. Kind of mixing metaphors there.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 