When you’re curious to find out what you could’ve been had you not met Batman…
S.T.A.R. Labs Scientist: Here are your scientifically selected careers.
Batgirl: “Architect”. Nice.
The Signal: “Insurance salesman”. Uhhh, right.
Spoiler: “Salmon gutter”? What in the –
Robin: “Military strongman”. -Tt-
Red Robin: “Systems analyst”. *shrugs*
Nightwing: “Homemaker”?
S.T.A.R. Labs Scientist: Mm-hm. It’s like a mommy.
Red Hood: “Police officer”? Well, I’ll be jiggered.
Barbara: Do you think it’s easy for me to see you with somebody else?
Dick: You know what? Hey – You’re the one who ended it! Remember?
Barbara: Yeah, because I was mad at you! Not because I stopped loving you!
Batman: I have eight kids. I’ve been tired since 1940.
Nightwing: *with lipstick marks all over his face*
Batgirl: *with smudged lipstick*
Robin: …
Nightwing: …
Batgirl: …
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: Isn’t it enough that this family spends a lot of time together? Now we have to inbreed?
Yeaaaaah, you weren’t supposed to see that, Damian.
When you arrive at the scene too late and see the aftermath of Batgirl, Orphan, and Spoiler taking down a group of rogues…
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: I’ve always thought of women as the more evolved sex, but after today… I’ve seen things, Bruce.
Dick and Barbara: *watching Damian jump from one gigantic memento to another in the Batcave*
Barbara: He is kind of adorable.
Dick: I know! Isn’t he? Remember when Jason was like this?
Jason: What the heck do you people say when I’m not here?
Batman: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*
Nightwing: *parkour-ing from giant memento to giant memento in the Batcave*
Red Hood: *aiming at the bats with his guns (”What? For target practice!”)*
Red Robin: *rambles on about his Multiverse theories to Bruce while dragging around an IV stand with a pouch of pure liquid caffeine*
Batgirl: *taking a selfie while Spoiler braids her hair*
Robin: *approaching Alfred with Batcow in tow (”I need more pet food, Pennyworth.”)*
Lark: *Snapchatting everyone while ducking to avoid Dick (”Typical Tuesdays”)*
Batman: *finds it hard to focus, stops typing*
Batman: *looks at the chaos that is his children*
Alfred: *serves Bruce some tea*
Batman: Alfred, this is like a waking nightmare of happiness.
Alfred: *grins and walks away*
Orphan: *hugs Bruce’s neck from behind*
Batman: *grins as his daughter skips away to join the fray*
Barbara: Dick, your heart’s in the right place.
Barbara: *mutters as Dick walks away* Your heart and your butt.
Barbara: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Tim: Starbucks.
Damian: Covered in kittens!
Dick: Model. No, a movie star. No, wait. Yeah. Model.
Jason: Prison.
The Robins’ vigilante retirement plans?
Nightwing: Can I ask you a question?
Oracle: No.
Nightwing: This is a business question. It’s nothing personal. I promise.
Oracle: Fine.
Nightwing: Are you wearing new perfume today?
Oracle: How is that a business question?
Nightwing: Well, you’re wearing it at the Batcave. And, it’s… I’m sorry, no offense, but it’s really sexy.
Oracle: Please don’t smell me, Dick.
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