Vlogs about mundane, day-to-day stuff, like his frustration with chafing in a full bodysuit or what it’s like growing up in a huge family
Replies to comments on his videos once in a while, which makes him even more endearing to his followers
Titans, in civilian wear, coming in and out of view (Wally: *yelling from the kitchen* D, you still gonna eat this?)
Jason:
Weapons – care, reviews, “Top 10” lists, demos
Witness protection-level of facial blurring and vocal disguise, and a disclaimer at the beginning of each video to discourage the young’uns from watching his stuff
“Gotta go” *abruptly shuts the camera off as Bruce’s shadow enters the frame*
Tim:
Life hacks, conspiracy theories, reviews of obscure music albums, meme meta-analyses
Videos uploaded during the wee hours of the morning (with him sometimes forgetting that he’s still wearing his blood-soaked uniform that’s tattered to the point of being unrecognizable)
“Thank you for attending my TED Talk” *finger guns, winks*
Damian:
Meditation techniques, wildlife conservation discussions (guest-starring Selina and his pets)
Leadership “seminars” with Jon (who’s constantly rolling his eyes or snickering), sparring sessions with Duke and his Batsisters, baking tutorials with Alfred
“Father, I need your opinion on – Father! Wait, don’t – Come back – BRUCE –”
Superman: *throws his hands up in exasperation* Thank you, @hillshollow !
Batman: Hn.
Superman: Just this morning, at breakfast, for crying out loud!*imitating Bruce’s voice* “Clark, pass the ketchup.” Tone. “Jordan, you seem to enjoy eating garbage.” Tone. “Diana –” Well, you did dial it down for that one.
Batman: *puffing out his chest and putting his hands on his hips* And this is necessary at all times?
Superman:
Superman: *eyes glowing red* ARGH! *walks out of the hall*
Superman: There’s just no winning with you, Bruce!
When your billionaire father’s also a vigilante who doesn’t have time to ponder how much gifts for teenagers cost…
Tim: Bruce, um, can I have some money to buy Damian a birthday present?
Bruce: Here you go.
Tim: *counts the money* Bruce, this is $110!
Bruce: Oh, sorry. *hands him the whole wallet*
Jason: Hey, excuse you!I am a great gift giver –
Dick: *wearing boxers that have a “Badman” logo that’s shaped suspiciously like the Bat symbol*
Tim: *throwing pieces of a broken plastic watch into the garbage can*
Damian: *pouring cat food branded “Cat Food” onto Alfred the Cat’s bowl*
Jason:
Jason: *yelling to be overheard* Yeah, well, maybe if sOmEoNe – like, I dunno, a BAJILLIONNAIRE or something –increased my allowance, @sleepytarotcat –
Vlogs about mundane, day-to-day stuff, like his frustration with chafing in a full bodysuit or what it’s like growing up in a huge family
Replies to comments on his videos once in a while, which makes him even more endearing to his followers
Titans, in civilian wear, coming in and out of view (Wally: *yelling from the kitchen* D, you still gonna eat this?)
Jason:
Weapons – care, reviews, “Top 10” lists, demos
Witness protection-level of facial blurring and vocal disguise, and a disclaimer at the beginning of each video to discourage the young’uns from watching his stuff
“Gotta go” *abruptly shuts the camera off as Bruce’s shadow enters the frame*
Tim:
Life hacks, conspiracy theories, reviews of obscure music albums, meme meta-analyses
Videos uploaded during the wee hours of the morning (with him sometimes forgetting that he’s still wearing his blood-soaked uniform that’s tattered to the point of being unrecognizable)
“Thank you for attending my TED Talk” *finger guns, winks*
Damian:
Meditation techniques, wildlife conservation discussions (guest-starring Selina and his pets)
Leadership “seminars” with Jon (who’s constantly rolling his eyes or snickering), sparring sessions with Duke and his Batsisters, baking tutorials with Alfred
“Father, I need your opinion on – Father! Wait, don’t – Come back – BRUCE –”
“If a Kryptonian with a mass of… hmmm… give or take 103 kg, is at rest on a 45-degree incline…” *holding up a poorly drawn illustration of what looks like a stick figure with a red “S” on his chest atop said inclined plane*
[to the teenage girl who’s been ogling him since the session started] *tapping the notepad with a pencil* “Okay, eyes over here, young lady.”
Makes his students giggle endlessly because of his puns and silly examples
Spends extra time in reaching out to his troubled students and, if called for, approaches their parents (who trust him quite a lot)
Jason
Perhaps the most patient one of all (because apparently he enjoys mentoring someone)
Also the most structured one (thanks to his own study habits as a youngster before he – y’know)
Holds free group/one-on-one study sessions for street kids in Gotham community centers (in which he also includes anti-bullying and anti-drug abuse talks), with meals and school supplies sponsored by the Wayne Foundation
“Don’t beat yourself up too hard, kid”
Tim
Field trips to the Gotham City Library, S.T.A.R. Labs, Atlantis, etc. (”Like the saying goes, experience is the best teacher. Just maybe don’t, uh, tell your parents, alright?”)
Very adept at simplifying complex theoretical concepts (and his cheesy mnemonics are a hit!)
Invites his fellow Titans to hold group study sessions for students, especially when final exams are approaching
Enjoys hanging out with his students outside of tutorials (and secretly patrols their schools to make sure they’re safe)
Damian
His lesson plan includes the literary works of Machiavelli and Tolstoy (and that’s just for 4th graders)
Rewards (”Should you ace this exam – and by ‘ace’ I mean perfect it – then you will be entitled to watch me defeat a supervillain in the flesh”) and punishes (”An A minus! No creamy, frozen dessert for you!”)
[Student] *crying* [Him] “… PENNYWORTH!”
Finds that spending time with other young individuals has given him a second chance at being a kid (which he would never admit to anyone, of course)
Good Ask… Hmm. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. Well, it’s no mystery that Bruce holds a special place in my ❤, and this took a lot of thought, so maybe jot this down. You ready?
$*@!?$#+*, you freakin’ ®¥π|£&#*!
* bleeeeeeeeep*
Me: *rushes into the room and grabs my phone* JASON! What –?!
Jason: *running away*
Me: That ask was for me, you little –
Me: *trying to catch my breath* Sorry about that, @crash-the-mode . To be honest, it takes me a while to come up with nicknames because –
Jason: *yelling from across the room* And, man oh man, listen to this, @crash-the-mode , Roy’s is gonna be –
Me: Zip it, Hood!
Me: As I was saying… It’s because it takes a while for me to come up with nicknames that feel right to me. Plus, I’m only comfortable nicknaming characters who I know more intimately than the others, so… A few at a time, I guess. Thanks for this Ask. I truly appreciate it. 🙂
Jason: *in the background, jotting down nicknames on a Batburger wrapper, talking to himself* I. Am. A. Genius! *chef’s kiss*
Alfred: *walks into the Batcave with a tray of cookies*
Alfred: *watches as a thick, sticky, white substance drops from the ceiling and onto the tray*
Alfred: *sighs deeply* Is this absolutely necessary, Master Bruce?
Batman: *yelling from the ground floor while making a few adjustments to a vehicle* I thought it would brighten the cave up.
Alfred: *looks up at crevices on the ceiling* And where, may I ask, did you find this many of them?
Batman:
Batman: Uh –
Alfred: *throws the guano-contaminated cookies into a trash bin* MASTER DAMIAN. *speed-walks out of the cave*
Nightwing: *getting off his motorcycle after it screeches to a halt* He is not gonna wanna see that room. *looks up* I like what you’ve done with the place. The yellow against all the black? *kisses his fingertips* Magnificent.
Batman: *grins* @fleetof-fandoms’ idea. You’ll have to send them a package for me.
Nightwing: Yeaaaah… I don’t think a bumblebee-colored Batmobile qualifies as a package-package, but sure, I’ll drive it over.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 