Red Hood: Yeah, but… This is… W-What if we… I don’t know, it’s… I don’t know. Shouldn’t we run this by Bruce first?
Robin: Ha! Father would never agree, so I say we just go doit. I bet I could get Kent to sneak into his father’s Fortress of Sadness or whatever and find us something that could help us get there –
Red Hood: *holds up a hand to stop him* Little D, I get it. I died, you died, yet we’re both standing here. A crisis rebooting our universe is basically just Tuesday for all of us. But this? We’re talking other universe-universe. Like, an outside-of-our-entire-freakin’-Multiverse universe, like even Mr. Mxyzptlk –
Nightwing: Jason’s got a point. None of us has ever gone that far. We didn’t even know it existed before this message from… @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr., who seems to be some kind of… Spiderman.
Red Robin: *clears his throat* That’s not… completely true.
Nightwing: What do you mean?
Red Robin: *whips out his phone and scrolls past about a hundred folders full of photos and case files before reaching one requiring a retinal scan to unlock*
Red Robin: *sighs deeply and aligns his eyes to the scanner*
Red Robin: You jerks better promise me you won’t judge me.
Red Robin:
Nightwing: …
Red Hood: …
Robin: …
To be continued?
Struggling too much? *jumps off the ceiling* then here,have a mazapán *toss one mazapán to each bat kid*
Red Hood: *checking out the mazapán he just caught* What the – *looks up at the ceiling, then at @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr, then back at the ceiling* Where –
Nightwing: *grinning at @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr, impressed and about to bite into the mazapán* Nice landing. And thanks for this.
Robin: *grabs the mazapán from Dick’s hand* -Tt- You should know better than to just accept sweets from otherworldly strangers, Grayson.
@vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr: *throws another mazapán at Dick, who single-handedly catches it without looking*
Nightwing: *pops the candy into his mouth* That’s only applies when you haven’t tried them, Little D. They’re, as they say, delicioso. Jessica C hands ‘em out during Justice League lunches.
Red Hood: *examining the treat* Why do I feel like I’ve tried these before, but like, they’re called marzap – mirzi –
Batwoman: *walks out of the shadows*
Red Hoodand Batwoman: Marzipan!
Red Hood: Kate, how did you –
Batwoman: I’m not sure, Jasón – Did I just call you Jasón?
Nightwing [to @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr]: *rolls his eyes* Don’t worry about them. They’re just having some kind of flashback of an alternate reality or something.
Red Robin: *slow-clapping sarcastically* Good job revealing our secret identities, team. Keep it up.
Robin: *yelling from across the room* Oh, that one’s name is “Loser Drake”!
Red Robin: Are you done being “mature”, Damian? ‘Cause I really think we should start figuring out what’s what before Batman arrives.
To be continued…
…*looks around and laughs softly* los niños de estos días,I have more candies if you want some,calaveras de azúcar,cacahuates garapiñados,plátanos fritos,etc!
Red Hood: *stuffing his mouth with candies* Yo sé, yo sé, @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr…
The Signal: Dude, did you just speak in Spanish?
Red Hood: *looks up at him*
Red Hood: *shrugs, then continues binging*
Batwoman: *fills her utility belt with treats* I’m just gonna run some tests on these.
Nightwing: *smirking, accompanies her towards the grandfather clock exit* Riiight.
Robin: *picks up a treat* Todd, do you have the slightest inkling of how bad these are for –
Red Robin: *grabs the treat from Damian’s hand* Do these have caffeine in ‘em? ‘Cause I could really use some right no–
Spoiler: *swipes the treat from Tim’s hand and is about to pop it into her mouth* Ha! Who’s stealthy no–
Nightwing: *gives Steph a gentle nudge as he walks back into the cave, causing her to lose her balance, then swiftly catches the fallen treat midair* So, we’re in big trouble, guys…
Red Hood: *chomping down on a candied skull* Just tell the Bart *chomp* nort to beer *chomp* surch a killjo–
Alfred:
Red Hood: *mouth agape, with chewed-up skull chunks falling out of it*
Alfred: And who.
Red Robin: *picking crumbs up from the floor in a panic*
Alfred: Gave all of you.
Spoiler: *slowly reaching for her grapple hook and searching for a hole in the cave wall*
Alfred: Permission.
The Signal: *sneakily kicking the basket of treats under the Batmobile*
*looks around nervously* no me siento muy bien señor Alfredo *hops into a port but quickly pop his head before it closes* I’m keeping the batarang! *goes back into the portal and it closes*
Batman: *climbs down from a dark corner in the cave*
Batman: *glances at the spot where the batarang used to be* Hn. All they had to do was ask.
Red Hood: Yeah, but… This is… W-What if we… I don’t know, it’s… I don’t know. Shouldn’t we run this by Bruce first?
Robin: Ha! Father would never agree, so I say we just go doit. I bet I could get Kent to sneak into his father’s Fortress of Sadness or whatever and find us something that could help us get there –
Red Hood: *holds up a hand to stop him* Little D, I get it. I died, you died, yet we’re both standing here. A crisis rebooting our universe is basically just Tuesday for all of us. But this? We’re talking other universe-universe. Like, an outside-of-our-entire-freakin’-Multiverse universe, like even Mr. Mxyzptlk –
Nightwing: Jason’s got a point. None of us has ever gone that far. We didn’t even know it existed before this message from… @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr., who seems to be some kind of… Spiderman.
Red Robin: *clears his throat* That’s not… completely true.
Nightwing: What do you mean?
Red Robin: *whips out his phone and scrolls past about a hundred folders full of photos and case files before reaching one requiring a retinal scan to unlock*
Red Robin: *sighs deeply and aligns his eyes to the scanner*
Red Robin: You jerks better promise me you won’t judge me.
Red Robin:
Nightwing: …
Red Hood: …
Robin: …
To be continued?
Struggling too much? *jumps off the ceiling* then here,have a mazapán *toss one mazapán to each bat kid*
Red Hood: *checking out the mazapán he just caught* What the – *looks up at the ceiling, then at @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr, then back at the ceiling* Where –
Nightwing: *grinning at @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr, impressed and about to bite into the mazapán* Nice landing. And thanks for this.
Robin: *grabs the mazapán from Dick’s hand* -Tt- You should know better than to just accept sweets from otherworldly strangers, Grayson.
@vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr: *throws another mazapán at Dick, who single-handedly catches it without looking*
Nightwing: *pops the candy into his mouth* That’s only applies when you haven’t tried them, Little D. They’re, as they say, delicioso. Jessica C hands ‘em out during Justice League lunches.
Red Hood: *examining the treat* Why do I feel like I’ve tried these before, but like, they’re called marzap – mirzi –
Batwoman: *walks out of the shadows*
Red Hoodand Batwoman: Marzipan!
Red Hood: Kate, how did you –
Batwoman: I’m not sure, Jasón – Did I just call you Jasón?
Nightwing [to @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr]: *rolls his eyes* Don’t worry about them. They’re just having some kind of flashback of an alternate reality or something.
Red Robin: *slow-clapping sarcastically* Good job revealing our secret identities, team. Keep it up.
Robin: *yelling from across the room* Oh, that one’s name is “Loser Drake”!
Red Robin: Are you done being “mature”, Damian? ‘Cause I really think we should start figuring out what’s what before Batman arrives.
To be continued…
…*looks around and laughs softly* los niños de estos días,I have more candies if you want some,calaveras de azúcar,cacahuates garapiñados,plátanos fritos,etc!
Red Hood: *stuffing his mouth with candies* Yo sé, yo sé, @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr…
The Signal: Dude, did you just speak in Spanish?
Red Hood: *looks up at him*
Red Hood: *shrugs, then continues binging*
Batwoman: *fills her utility belt with treats* I’m just gonna run some tests on these.
Nightwing: *smirking, accompanies her towards the grandfather clock exit* Riiight.
Robin: *picks up a treat* Todd, do you have the slightest inkling of how bad these are for –
Red Robin: *grabs the treat from Damian’s hand* Do these have caffeine in ‘em? ‘Cause I could really use some right no–
Spoiler: *swipes the treat from Tim’s hand and is about to pop it into her mouth* Ha! Who’s stealthy no–
Nightwing: *gives Steph a gentle nudge as he walks back into the cave, causing her to lose her balance, then swiftly catches the fallen treat midair* So, we’re in big trouble, guys…
Red Hood: *chomping down on a candied skull* Just tell the Bart *chomp* nort to beer *chomp* surch a killjo–
Alfred:
Red Hood: *mouth agape, with chewed-up skull chunks falling out of it*
Alfred: And who.
Red Robin: *picking crumbs up from the floor in a panic*
Alfred: Gave all of you.
Spoiler: *slowly reaching for her grapple hook and searching for a hole in the cave wall*
Alfred: Permission.
The Signal: *sneakily kicking the basket of treats under the Batmobile*
Red Hood: Yeah, but… This is… W-What if we… I don’t know, it’s… I don’t know. Shouldn’t we run this by Bruce first?
Robin: Ha! Father would never agree, so I say we just go doit. I bet I could get Kent to sneak into his father’s Fortress of Sadness or whatever and find us something that could help us get there –
Red Hood: *holds up a hand to stop him* Little D, I get it. I died, you died, yet we’re both standing here. A crisis rebooting our universe is basically just Tuesday for all of us. But this? We’re talking other universe-universe. Like, an outside-of-our-entire-freakin’-Multiverse universe, like even Mr. Mxyzptlk –
Nightwing: Jason’s got a point. None of us has ever gone that far. We didn’t even know it existed before this message from… @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr., who seems to be some kind of… Spiderman.
Red Robin: *clears his throat* That’s not… completely true.
Nightwing: What do you mean?
Red Robin: *whips out his phone and scrolls past about a hundred folders full of photos and case files before reaching one requiring a retinal scan to unlock*
Red Robin: *sighs deeply and aligns his eyes to the scanner*
Red Robin: You jerks better promise me you won’t judge me.
Red Robin:
Nightwing: …
Red Hood: …
Robin: …
To be continued?
Struggling too much? *jumps off the ceiling* then here,have a mazapán *toss one mazapán to each bat kid*
Red Hood: *checking out the mazapán he just caught* What the – *looks up at the ceiling, then at @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr, then back at the ceiling* Where –
Nightwing: *grinning at @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr, impressed and about to bite into the mazapán* Nice landing. And thanks for this.
Robin: *grabs the mazapán from Dick’s hand* -Tt- You should know better than to just accept sweets from otherworldly strangers, Grayson.
@vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr: *throws another mazapán at Dick, who single-handedly catches it without looking*
Nightwing: *pops the candy into his mouth* That’s only applies when you haven’t tried them, Little D. They’re, as they say, delicioso. Jessica C hands ‘em out during Justice League lunches.
Red Hood: *examining the treat* Why do I feel like I’ve tried these before, but like, they’re called marzap – mirzi –
Batwoman: *walks out of the shadows*
Red Hoodand Batwoman: Marzipan!
Red Hood: Kate, how did you –
Batwoman: I’m not sure, Jasón – Did I just call you Jasón?
Nightwing [to @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr]: *rolls his eyes* Don’t worry about them. They’re just having some kind of flashback of an alternate reality or something.
Red Robin: *slow-clapping sarcastically* Good job revealing our secret identities, team. Keep it up.
Robin: *yelling from across the room* Oh, that one’s name is “Loser Drake”!
Red Robin: Are you done being “mature”, Damian? ‘Cause I really think we should start figuring out what’s what before Batman arrives.
To be continued…
Nightwing: *shrugs* They need our help, guys.
Red Hood: Yeah, but… This is… W-What if we… I don’t know, it’s… I don’t know. Shouldn’t we run this by Bruce first?
Robin: Ha! Father would never agree, so I say we just go doit. I bet I could get Kent to sneak into his father’s Fortress of Sadness or whatever and find us something that could help us get there –
Red Hood: *holds up a hand to stop him* Little D, I get it. I died, you died, yet we’re both standing here. A crisis rebooting our universe is basically just Tuesday for all of us. But this? We’re talking other universe-universe. Like, an outside-of-our-entire-freakin’-Multiverse universe, like even Mr. Mxyzptlk –
Nightwing: Jason’s got a point. None of us has ever gone that far. We didn’t even know it existed before this message from… @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr., who seems to be some kind of… Spiderman.
Red Robin: *clears his throat* That’s not… completely true.
Nightwing: What do you mean?
Red Robin: *whips out his phone and scrolls past about a hundred folders full of photos and case files before reaching one requiring a retinal scan to unlock*
Red Robin: *sighs deeply and aligns his eyes to the scanner*
Red Robin: You jerks better promise me you won’t judge me.
Red Hood: *leans on a wall and slides down into a cross-legged, sitting position*
Red Hood: *checks his watch, sighs, puts down his binoculars and taps a foot impatiently against the rooftop floor*
Red Hood: *takes out his phone, opens incorrect-batfamily-quotes on Tumblr and scrolls through the “big brother of the year” tag*
Red Hood: *chuckles* I would totally do that. *browses* Yup, Timbo needs to sleep. *checks out the comments* That’s… nice. *looks to the sky as if he could use it to talk to someone from another Earth* Thanks… whoever you are. *scrunches his nose* And apparently… there’s a lot of you who think that I’m not too bad…
Red Hood: *gets up in a half a second flat, guns drawn*
Red Robin: *holding his hands up in surrender* Relax, relax. It’s just me.
Black Bat: *soundlessly stepping out of a dark corner* And me.
Nightwing: *hanging upside down and covering the eyeholes on Jason’s helmet* Aaaaand your favorite older brother.
Red Hood: *peeling Dick’s blue-striped fingers off* Look, I don’t give a bat’s butt what the old man said, I’m taking this case –
Robin: *jumps down from behind a gargoyle and throws his hands up in frustration* What took you so long, Todd?! This whole day has been wasted waiting for you!
Red Hood: – gonna freakin’ bring down those lowlives who took Kori no matter what it – Wait, wait. What exactly is going on here?
Nightwing: *smiling excitedly* There is no case, Little Wing.
Red Hood: I don’t –
Spoiler: *swings in from a nearby rooftop*Is he here?Did he buy –Oh, hey, Jay! Starfire’s giggling her orange-y, little head off watching you right now. *points to a hidden camera in a crevice*
Red Hood: WHAT? But the leads –
Red Robin: Were made up. I hacked into your personal satellite. Sent some signals here and there, bada-bing-bada-boom.
Red Hood: How is all this even – I can’t – How’d you guys get past me?
Batgirl: *rappelling from the Batjet with Duke* Because we helped them, duh. It was the only way to get you to come here today.
Red Hood: *takes his helmet off and rubs his face in utter confusion* I followed those leads for three weeks! I mean, Artemis and Bizarro –
Artemis: *lands on the rooftop on Bizarro’s back, shrugs and hands her sword to Damian, who greedily grabs it* Just pretended to be pissed that you had to leave for your “mission”.
Bizarro: We not sad Red Him gone!
The Signal: So does he mean he was or… ?
Red Hood: If this is some kind of *doing air-quotation marks* intervention, you tell that arrogant, self-righteous, emotionally –
Batman: – inept, leather-clad furry that it won’t work.
Red Hood:
Batman: I’d like to give it a try anyway.
Red Hood: But we… we’re supposed to… we hate each other…
Batman: *grins and ruffles Jason’s hair* Hn. Don’t believe everything you read, kid.
Red Hood: *grins sheepishly back*
The Signal: *looks around for secret passageways on the rooftop and whispers to Tim* Where’d the boss even come from?
Alfred [on the Comm Link]: *clears his throat loudly* If you’re all quite finished, the rest of your family and friends – *muffled* Mr. Harper, once again, that vase is a family heirloom and was never intended for target practice – are waiting.
Batman: Let’s get you home.
Red Hood: Right. I’m starving.
Alfred: Please do hurry up. The candles can only stay up for so long.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
I hope I’m not too late… Happy birthday, Jay!
Me: Oh, wow, this is high praise! It’s one of the sweetest comments –
Red Hood: *referring to the litter of puppies licking his boots, the tub of neapolitan ice cream (his favorite) on the kitchen counter, and the banner saying “Welcome home, Jason!” in bright green* Does any of this seem realistic to you?
Me: Look, I just figured –
Red Hood: But the fact that they think I deserve all of these things… I…
Red Hood’s helmet: *short-circuiting* –Bzzt bZzt–
Me: *gently leading a sniffling Jason out of the kitchen* His tears, um, tend to do that.
Me: *shuts the kitchen door in hopes of muffling the ugly-crying from the next room* So, how about some of that ice cream?
Red Hood: Look, I don’t know who this “Jason” you’re talking about is, but it’s not me, alright? There must be, like, a billion Jasons in Gotham alone, so you’re clearly mistaken –
Alfred [on the Comm Link]: Master Jason, this chocolate bouquet on your bed addressed to *sound of a greeting card flipping open* @abundanceofopals, shall I wipe the bloodstains off of it or –
Red Hood: *shuts the Comm Link and sheepishly rubs the back of his neck* Uhhh.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
He’s blushing so hard that he’s as red as the mask covering his face, trust me. Thank you so much, @abundanceofopals! You have a nice day, too!
Red Hood: Hey, @shywritersblogsworld , you know what else gives you life? The Lazaru–
Robin: *shoves Jason out of the way* Lame! Try using a Chaos Sha–
Red Robin: Well, there’s also teleporting.
Red Hood and Robin: *slowly turn their heads towards Tim and glare at him*
Red Hood: You did not just say what I thought you said.
Robin: That. Doesn’t. Count. Drake.
Red Robin: But I –
Red Hood: Didn’t actually die!
Robin: *fist-bumps Jason* Thank you, Todd!
Red Robin: I just cannot catch a break with you guys!
Nightwing: *listening to his younger brothers bickering* You know what? I’m not even gonna… Let’s just get out of here. *puts an arm around @shywritersblogsworld and leads them out of the room*
Duke: *listening to the birds chirping, the breeze blowing, the grass being mowed by Alfred… *
Duke: *looks around the kitchen suspiciously*
Duke: It’s quiet. Too quiet.
Duke:
Dune: *narrowly misses a birdarang, which hits and breaks a ketchup bottle, and hears two sets of footsteps – one lithe, the other heavy – barreling down the stairs and familiar voices yelling insults at each other*
Duke:
Duke: *gets up, grabs his stuff, and looks up the nearest Big Belly Burger on Waze* Suddenly it’s too loud. I preferred it when it was quiet.
Jason: *turns his seat to face @rayanyamor*And you felt the need to point it out because…?
Alfred: *conficates Jason’s Pop-Tarts and starts passing out plates of blueberry waffles to everyone at the table* Young masters, I implore you to let our guest have breakfast in peace.
Jason: Alf, wha–
Tim: *pops coffee beans into his mouth* But it’s a legit question, though.
Damian: *climbs on top of the kitchen table and brings his face so close to @rayanyamor’s that they’re practically nose-to-nose* What makes you so sure that we weren’t referring to another Robin?
Dick: *walks into the kitchen already eating from a cereal box* Good morning, family! What’re we talking about now? And where’s Dune?
Me: *drags my hand down my face in anguish* It was a typo. A typo.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 