An Incorrect Interview with the Batfamily…
Batman: I have it on good authority that you’ve been posting these, quote-unquote, incorrect quotes about our family on this so-called… *narrows his eyes* Tumblr.
Me: *blinks*
Me: *shuddering slightly* Well, see, Mr. Batman, um,Sir Wayne, uh, Batwayne –
Nightwing: *gets up from his chair and hugs me tightly*
Me: Oh! Oh, okay. Wow. Thanks? So, um, do you have a question or… ?
Nightwing: *shakes his head and grins at me* I just wanted to lighten the mood. You know how our father tends to blur the line between an interview and an interrog–
Red Hood: *clears his throat loudly*
Red Hood: Why, um… Why the heck do you call me *reading something scribbled on his palm* “Big Brother of the Year”?
Me: Well, see, Jay, even though you see yourself as the “black sheep” of the family, I do believe that there’s some goodness in your heart and that you do care very much about them. I think Croc said it best: you’re a good kid trying to be bad, and – Are you okay?
Red Hood’s Helmet: – bZzt bzZt –
Me: Your helmet’s… There’s smoke coming out of your –
Red Hood: *gets up from his seat and speed-walks out of the room*
Me: Did I say something wrong?
Red Robin: No. His tears must’ve fried the circuits in his helmet. Anyway, is this where you live? *shows me a map on his tablet with coordinates to my residence*
Me: *wide-eyed* How’d you – ?
Red Robin: Don’t worry about it. Now, my real question is, is there a lot of coffee where you’re from?
Me: Well –
Red Robin: Like really strong cofee? *zooming in and out of the map* For some reason, I can’t get intel –
Robin: *shoves Tim out of the way*
Robin: Pretender! Where do you get the nerve –
Me: – to make you look adorable? Look, Dami, I can’t help it –
Black Bat: *grapple-hooks into the room and grabs me*
Spoiler: Alright, creeps, that’s enough blogger harrassment for today!
Batgirl: *whispering into my ear* I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
Alfred: *walks into the room*
Room: *falls silent*
Alfred: No dessert for all of you.
Everyone (including Bruce): *whines*
Alfred: As for you *looks at me*…
Me: *blinks*
Alfred: … we would appreciate it if you joined us for dinner. *walks out of the room with Batcow and Titus in tow*
The Signal: *turns off the camera and runs after Alfred* But I was just filming everything, I swear!
Catwoman: *comes in through the kitchen window* Meow. Did I miss the interview?
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I guess this is just my way of saying THANK YOU for your continued patronage.
Sincerely *with lots of cute, little hearts*,
a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes
This is the best thing I have ever read in my life
Robin: *tying @dc-comics-gal up*
Red Robin: Brat, what in the –
Red Hood: Woah, woah, Li’l D –
Robin: *hissing* Will you two shut up? Father and Grayson might hear you!
Red Robin: What exactly are you trying to do?
Robin: *carrying @dc-comics-gal into the Batmobile* Trying to sneak them into the Manor! Obviously, Drake!
Red Hood: Well, not that I’d mind seeing the old Bat have a fit, but… why, kid?
Robin: One more question, Todd, and I swear –
Me: Hey, hey, hey! Put the Tumblr user down.
Me: Now, Damian.
Me:
Me: Okay, good.
Me: On our earth, we just say thank you.
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So, thank you!
It’s getting better and better and better 🙂 and I love it 💕
Damian: *shuts his bedroom door behind him*
Dick: Hey, Li’l D –
Dick:
Dick: Is there someone in your room?
Damian: No one! Nothing! None of your business! Now, get out of my way Grayson, I need to find Pennyworth! *rushes past him to the kitchen*
Dick: *slowly opens the door*
Jason: *showing @rosevered some of his favorite 18th century novels* Yo, Dames, you got the tea yet? We’re out –
Dick:
Jason:
Tim: *drops the stack of Xbox games he was carrying*
Dick:
Tim: Uhhh… Damian’s guest from… *looks to @rosevered* Which Earth did you say you were from again?
Dick:
Dick: *sits down beside them on the carpeted floor and offers to shake their hand* Another one of Robin’s stow-aways, huh? Welcome to the Manor, @rosevered .
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No matter how many times I tell the Bats that a simple thank you would do, they just won’t listen, so I hope you don’t mind!
THIS I LOVE THIS! LIKE SO MUCH :D💙❤💙❤💙❤💙❤💙❤💙❤💙
Batman: *working a long-overdue case on the Batcomputer*
Wonder Woman: *walking around the Batcave and admiring the mementos*
Wonder Woman:
Wonder Woman: *swiftly takes out her lasso and prepares to throw it*
Batman: *grabs the lasso in time* Diana, NO!
Wonder Woman: I sense a foreign presence in your cave, Bruce, lurking right behind that monstrous creature –
@nanna-the-batmum: *steps out from behind the dinosaur and into the light*
Wonder Woman: Great Hera…
Batman: They’re… They’re, uh…
Nightwing: *drops down from the ceiling* A guest from a nearby Earth. *winks at @nanna-the-batmum*
Superman: *flies in through the waterfall and dries himself off* Another one, Bruce?
Batman: Another what, Clark?
Robin: *enters with Batcow on a leash* I wonder the same thing, Father. Eight not enough for you?
Batman: Damian, are you implying –
Superman: *extends a hand to @nanna-the-batmum* Hello, I’m Superman. Welcome to our Earth.
Wonder Woman: *does the same* And I’m Diana of Themyscira. I hope you can forgive me for our earlier introduction.
Red Hood: *pulls his motorcycle to a screeching halt* Yo, @nanna-the-batmum, you one of us? Should we start training you?
Batman: *rubs his temples in frustration* Jason, nobody is training –
Red Robin: *parks his car beside Jason’s motorcycle* We could totally just pick you up at your place. Say, 9-ish? Also, don’t mind the tracker on your collar.
Batman: Tim – Hrrnnn. *goes back to work on the Batcomputer*
Alfred: *puts a hand on @nanna-the-batmum‘s shoulder* Clearly it requires quite a bit of energy to be in this family, so might I suggest you try some of the cookies I just baked? I hear they’re delicious. *leads the way to the kitchen*
Mother of bats…..
Yes good
It’s increased exponentially since last I saw it
If you’re still running this beautiful gift of a post, Harper Row is the best and I love catwoman and red hood so much too.
Selina: Look, @charismatic-hothead darlin’, this isn’t for the faint of heart. Even Bruce wasn’t up to the challenge.
Harper: You have to be totally, a-hundred-percent sure you’re up to this.
Cullen: Yeah, @charismatic-hothead – Wait, what’re we doing again?
Harper: *playfully slaps him on the shoulder* Turning you into a man, little bro.
Jason: *rubs his hands together* Easy peasy, Batsy squeezy.
Waitress: Welcome to Batburger. You guys ready to order?
Harper: Since the moment Zombie Boy here suggested it. Five Batburger meals, please.
Harper: Giganta-d.
Cullen: *wide-eyed* Th- that’s t-two p-p-pounds e-e-each –
Jason: Actually, make that two for me.
Harper: *raises an eyebrow*
Jason: *shrugs and mouths “patrol night”, then turns to @charismatic-hothead and mouths, “You comin’?”*
Waitress: Joker-ized fries?
Jason: Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Selina: *grins* Order anything you want, kiddos. It’s all on Batman.
ahh this is so good. if you’re still doing it, I love Nightwing, he’s my fave.
Officer Grayson: *pulls over and walks towards @chi-townbatgirl‘s parked car*
Officer Grayson: Hi, I’m Officer Grayson of the
Blüdhaven Police Department. Please step out of the vehicle.
@chi-townbatgirl: *steps out of the car*
Officer Grayson: You have the right to take a break from your hectic schedule and have dinner at the Manor. Anything you do or say that’s equivalent to a “no” can and will be used against you in Alfred’s kitchen.
If you can’t afford a plane ticket to Gotham City, Bruce Wayne’ll provide it for you.
Officer Grayson: Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, care to have breakfast with me? I’ve got, like, six kinds of cereal. *grins and offers @chi-townbatgirl a blue-and-black striped hand*
Uhhhhhh i Love it 💜 can i get one with Dami and Alfred If you want to do it 💚
@hoshihime04: *trying to shift positions during a lovely nap but unable to move because of something really heavy…*
@hoshihime04: *eyelids fluttering… blinking… taking in nothing but darkness*
@hoshihime04: *tasting fur… feeling fur everywhere…*
@hoshihime04: *eyes wide open*
@hoshihime04: *hears faint voices growing louder and footsteps getting nearer*
Alfred: – absolutely unacceptable treatment of a guest, Master Damian.
Damian: But they’re totally comfortable, Pennyworth! Not to mention safe!
Alfred: *keeps on walking*
Damian: Don’t go in there! Leave them alone!
Door: *squeaking open*
Alfred: Hm.
Alfred: Will you do it or must I?
Damian: Fine. I’ll do it.
Damian: *sighs*
Damian: Titus. Alfred. Jerry. Get off the bed. Let’s go, Batcow.
Alfred: *clears throat*
Damian: You too, Goliath.
@hoshihime04:
*feeling like ten tons of fluff was lifted off their chest and gasping for air*
Damian: -Tt – *walks out of the room with a Great Dane, a cat, a turkey, a cow and a bat-dragon in tow*
Alfred: *helping
get up* At the young master’s behest, I’ve prepared crispy tofu tacos for the both of you. Now, off to the kitchen you go.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 