Tag: alfred pennyworth

Tim trying to win his girlfriend back…

Tim [about Zoanne]: I want to do something for her… but what?

Alfred: Well, there’s the usual things: flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep…

–

Or, y’know, not falling asleep on a rollercoaster during your date?

When you invite Batman to the annual Justice League Holiday Party at the Watchtower…

Batman: The nerve of those rookies. Inviting me up there, and on such short notice.

Batman: Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it.

Batman: Four o’clock, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can’t cancel that again.

Batman: 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and slip slowly into madness.

Batman: But what would I wear?

Alfred: *rolls his eyes*

Alfred: *leaves to draw Bruce a bath*

a-wayne-at-heart:

My dream Batman canon issue: ALL the four Batboys (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian) and Cass coming out of their respective bedrooms at the Manor in their sleep civvies, woken by the scent of Alfred’s cooking; each getting to the kitchen in his/her own Extra way, playfully but competitively shoving each other out of the way; Tim breaking off from the chaos to open the door, high-fiving/fist-bumping Duke and Luke as they file in; Babs arriving two minutes later, on the phone with Steph, telling the latter to come ASAP (breakfast is almost served); Kate coming in much later, amused by the loud morning chatter, nodding at Bruce, who’s seated at a kitchen stool, patting Titus on the head while Alfred the cat purrs on his lap.

I dunno. Something incredibly MUNDANE like this when Tim comes back. We already had Batburger, and that was lovely. Just… It would be great if they were ALL there.

Selina coming in through a second story window; Basil catching up with Cass and Harper, telling them how Jean-Paul’s meditating on a mountain somewhere so he can’t make it, while Alfred mops up his clay trail. Maybe Clark and Lois (literally) flying in to drop Jon off for a sleepover with Damian.

Too much to ask?

Bruce realizing that he needs to put in more effort in his relationship with Selina…

Bruce: If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t schedule love.

Alfred: I think your credit card statement would beg to differ.