The Batfamily’s cue to start worrying about Red Hood…
Alfred: Master Jason may be violent and uncommunicative, but he is never tardy.
Tag: alfred pennyworth
So…
Batfamily Member A: Try not to die.
Batfamily Member B: Yeah, I love you, too.
I mean, basically, right?
Bruce: What are you doing?
Alfred: *collecting all kinds of paperwork into piles and shutting down the Batcomputer*
Alfred: Depriving you of all stimuli. Time for you to get some sleep, Master Bruce.
Bruce: What? No, no. Right after you solve a case, you’re flushed with a success. We should double down with work!
Alfred: *walks away with said piles*
Wanna bet he does the same to Master Timothy?
One of the few reasons Jason still comes by Wayne Manor…
Alfred: From where I’m standing, Master Jason, you’re worth loving.
Dick [to Alfred]: What did you put in this sugar? It’s so good!
Because Alfred knows best…
Alfred [to Bruce]: It seems like you and Master Jason are talking, but no one’s listening to each other.
Tim: Alfred, I really want to move back home. I’m really bad at laundry.
Alfred: Oh, thank goodness, Master Timothy. I’m glad you know this about yourself. This shirt smells like death.
Tailoring a suit for Red Hood…
Alfred: … And what style?
Jason: Italian.
Alfred: How many buttons?
Jason: Two.
Alfred: Trousers?
Jason: Tapered.
Alfred: How about the lining?
Jason: Tactical.
Why Bruce usually prefers to eat dinner alone (and realized that he should stop convincing Alfred to go on vacations)…
Tim [to Damian]: You’re such a #$!+@!
Dick: Guys. Please.
Jason: *smirks*
Damian: What? Did you just call me a “#$!+@”???
Bruce: Boys, that’s enough.
Damian: You can go =$#@* a %>¡#!
Tim: Oh, please, tell me, Damian, how exactly does one =$#@* a %>¡#?
Damian: *gets up from seat* You want me to tell you?
Tim: *crosses arms and sits back* Please, tell me.
Dick: *stands up, readying himself to pry his brothers off each other*
Jason: *starts taking a video with his phone to send to Roy*
Bruce: *rubbing his temples* We will not have this at the dinner table.
Tim: *sneers* I’m all ears.
–
Annnnnd there was no patrolling that night, just a family trip to the ER.
Tim [to Alfred]: What if Bruce gets another Robin? A mean one? I just don’t think I can take that kind of rejection!
–
Hoo boy, Timmy. You have nooo idea.
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