Tag: alfred pennyworth

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: *cooking pancakes*

Dick: *doing a headstand and using his feet as hands* Blueberry, Jay!

Alfred: *slapping Dick’s feet away from the kitchen counter* Same, Master Jason.

Bruce: *reading the Gotham Gazette* Hn. Same.

Tim: *pouring a fizzing liquid from one test tube to another* Same.

Damian: -Tt-

Jason: Okay, so the same for everyone, with extra spit on Damian’s.

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: *scouring the refrigerator*

Dick: *balancing a spoon on the tip of his nose while tiptoeing atop a kitchen stool*

Alfred: *picking up all of Dick’s fallen cutlery*

Tim: *fast asleep and drooling on his pancakes*

Damian: *tossing a “hay salad” for Batcow*

Jason: Ish iz anybody’sh shandwich? Because I’ve eaten half of it and I don’t like it.

You clearly don’t, Jay, based on that turkey scrap dangling from your mouth.

Mornings at the Manor…

Bruce: *picks up the Gotham Gazette*

Dick: *doing pull-ups using the kitchen chandelier*

Alfred: *tugs at Dick’s feet to get him off the chandelier*

Tim: *typing furiously on his laptop, eyes narrowed with concentration*

Jason: *pours a fifth shot of espresso into Tim’s mug*

Damian: *picks bacon off Jason’s plate and feeds it to Alfred the Cat*

Bruce: *puts down the newspaper, buries his face in a hand and shakes his head*

Bruce: Just one question, boys. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

I’d say stick to the Business Section, Bruce, but I guess it’s kind of hard to avoid the headlines, huh?

Mornings at the Manor…

Bruce: Good morning, everyone!

Alfred:

Dick:

Jason:

Tim:

Damian:

Bruce: *sits down on the kitchen table, pours himself a cup of coffee, and picks up the Gotham Gazette*

Jason [to Tim]: *whispering* Ah, crap. He’s in love again.

Because a cheerful Bruce is a suspicious Bruce. (And that might have something to do with a certain, um, Cat.)

Mornings at the Manor…

Alfred: *decorating pancakes with whipped butter and blueberries*

Dick: *eating cereal while doing a one-armed handstand*

Jason: *throwing bacon bits at Dick’s face*

Tim: *enters the kitchen*

Damian: What’s that smell? *sniffs the room*

Everyone else: *stops to sniff* 

Damian: Smells like sweat and anger and shame.

Tim: *with dark rings under his eyes*

Tim: *pours coffee onto the wrong end of his mug*

Tim: *sighs* Yep.

#mornings at the manor

So, I’ve decided to add a new tag to some of my posts (see title above). I’ve been using it as a header quite a bit and figured I might as well make it into a tag.

In my mind, the Batfamily’s just as domestic as any of us in the AM (except for the fact that they’ve probably just gotten home a few hours before breakfast, bruised and bleeding, perhaps high on painkillers, after having taken down a vast criminal empire or threat from another planet or something).

So, yeah. “Mornings at the Manor”. My dream sitcom.

When Batdad just automatically responds with some random punishment to carry out…

Alfred: Master Bruce, do you even know which one of your sons I’m talking about?

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Does it even matter anymore?

Meeting Batman’s “blood son” for the first time…

Alfred: Master Damian, you cannot leave the table until you’ve finished your Lobster Thermidor.

Damian: Well, then, I shall sit here until one of us expires, and you’ve got a good forty years on me, old man!