After hours of searching the Manor…
Alfred: *throws hands up in exasperation* Well, the boys are off. I wonder where they went.
Bruce: Out of town.
Alfred: How do you know, Master Bruce?
Bruce: I told them not to.
Tag: alfred pennyworth
Bruce, Dick, Tim and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from downstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from downstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
Mornings at the Manor…
Alfred: *coming out of Tim’s bedroom carrying a big, black plastic bag*
Tim: *yawns* It’s not garbage, Alf. It’s my clothes.
And, Dick’s like, “Hey! Alfred does that to me, too!”.
Trying to eavesdrop on Bruce and Alfred be like…
Dick and Jason: *peering through a vent in the Manor*
Dick: They’ve been in there a while.
Jason: Yep.
Dick: Can’t be good.
Jason: Nope.
Dick: Think they’re talking about me?
Jason: No, I think they’re talking about me.
Dick: Yeah. That makes way more sense.
When your prodigal son lays down his guns, takes off his red hood, and comes back to the Manor for a while…
Batman: *clutching his chest* I… I feel like I’m go- going to explode into a m-million shiny p-pieces, Alfred…
Alfred: *grinning* I believe that’s called “joy”, Master Bruce.
Post-patrol…
Alfred: Master Richard, your jaw could be broken.
Nightwing: It’s not broken, Alf. I’ve been punched before.
Red Hood: *smirks* Ex-girlfriends don’t count.
Alfred: You stole a baby, Master Bruce?
Batman: Only for a few seconds. As it turns out, just because you put a Bat symbol on something, it doesn’t mean you get to keep it.
Alfred: Yes. I think babies have to be notarized.
On Damian’s first day at Gotham Academy…
Bruce: *frantic* Alfred, what are you talking about? I put everything he had into his backpack! What did I forget?
Alfred: His backpack, Master Bruce.
Or that one time Bruce went into Dad Mode.
Any member of the Batfamily: This team has compromised me in ways that I never even knew existed!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 