Tag: alfred pennyworth

Mornings at the Manor…

Bruce: *e-mailing the Justice League while discussing Wayne Tech plans with Lucius on the phone*

Dick: *stealthily picking blueberries off the pancakes on the serving tray while dangling upside down from the ceiling*

Alfred: *slapping Dick’s hand away while preparing Tim’s morning espresso shots*

Jason: *holding up a bag of catfood so it’s out of Damian’s reach*

Damian: *on his tippy toes trying to reach it while muttering censor-worthy threats to Jason*

Tim: *eyelids drooping and eyes red, wiping dried-up slobber off his face* How long was I out? Is Napster still a thing?

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Who’s gonna tell him?

Bruce: I scolded Damian today, so according to – *reads smudged writing on his palm* — “The Robin Bylaws”, I now have to grant him three wishes.

Alfred: …

Parenting. Comes easy, it does not. 

Dick drafted the original bylaws, by the way. Jason, Tim, and Damian merely perfected them.

Batman: Alfred, I’m going to need a pair of pants brought to the landing site.

Alfred [on the Comm Link]: I shall have pants waiting for you, Master Bruce.

Green Lantern: He’s kidding, right?

Superman: No, he’s not.

Because, contrary to popular belief, Batman does not work alone. (Who am I kidding? Everybody knows that.)

Plus, he’s got a charity gala to attend after beating up a bunch of aliens, so…