Tag: alfred pennyworth

Interventions at the Manor…

Alfred: *wearing a mask and carrying a vacuum cleaner*

Dick: *putting on gloves*

Jason: *filling a black garbage bag with piles of… What are these, Timbo?*

Damian: *pinching his nose and looking around in pure disgust*

Tim: I want to get rid of my stuff, but all my stuff is really good and I just can’t get rid of it.

Dick: It’s not and you have to.

Jason: Everything you own is trash.

Damian: You’re basically a hoarder, Drake.

Tim: *chugs a mug of coffee and stains his three-day-old shirt further*

Tim: Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.

Mornings at the Manor…

Tim: *covering a bruised eye*

Dick: *hugging him consolingly*

Jason: *heading to the refrigerator to grab an ice pack while trying to suppress his laughter*

Bruce and Alfred: *glaring disappointedly*

Damian: *guarding a platter of tofu* It’s not my fault I’m bad at sharing! I skipped kindergarten!

If all the Robins were still in school…

Alfred: Master Damian’s grades are up a little this term, but Master Dick’s are way down.

Bruce: Hn. I always have a responsible son and an irresponsible one. Why can’t both my sons be responsible?

Alfred: You have four sons, Master Bruce.

Bruce: Alfred, Ace and Titus don’t count as my sons.

Alfred: No, Master Jason and Master Tim!

Batman, you have a gazillion kids.

Jason: Young man, since you broke Tim’s teeth, he gets to break yours.

Tim: *wipes blood off his mouth and cracks his knuckles* This is gonna be sweet.

Damian: *sneers*

In which Bruce, Alfred, and Dick never leave Jason to “babysit” his younger brothers again.

First rule of Bat Club…