Dick: Hey, Little Wing.
Jason: Screw you.
Damian: Excuse me, that is no way to address a superior.
Jason: Oh, yeah? Screw you, too.
Tim: *walking into the room and bumping into Jason, who’s fuming on his way out*
Tim: Whoa. What was that all about?
Alfred: *gives them a pointed look*
Alfred: You all forgot his death anniversary. It was yesterday.
Tag: alfred pennyworth
Sorry…
For taking so long to respond to some of your messages/requests (been a bizzy, buzzy bee). And thank you for continuing to drop by. I’ll have Alfred bake cookies for you (when he’s not busy picking up after the Bats). ❤
a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes
Tim: *turns on his boombox and tunes it to an 80s pop music station*
Tim: *gets up on the table and starts dancing the “running man”*
Bruce:
Dick:
Babs:
Jason:
Steph:
Cass:
Damian: -Tt-
Duke:
Alfred:
Tim: I’m rocking so much adrenaline right now! My blood is basically Red Bull!
Alfred: *nods at Jason*
Jason: *tackles Tim in the middle of the “cabbage patch”*
Alfred: *waits for the table to be cleared of his grandsons, then lays out breakfast entrèes for everyone*
– • – • – • – • –
Good morning from the Manor!
Trying to eavesdrop on Bruce and Alfred be like…
Dick and Jason: *peering through a vent in the Manor*
Dick: They’ve been in there a while.
Jason: Yep.
Dick: Can’t be good.
Jason: Nope.
Dick: Think they’re talking about me?
Jason: No, I think they’re talking about me.
Dick: Yeah. That makes way more sense.
Trying to eavesdrop on Bruce and Alfred be like…
Dick and Jason: *peering through a vent in the Manor*
Dick: They’ve been in there a while.
Jason: Yep.
Dick: Can’t be good.
Jason: Nope.
Dick: Think they’re talking about me?
Jason: No, I think they’re talking about me.
Dick: Yeah. That makes way more sense.
When Batman tucks you in…
Damian: …
Damian: Pennyworth.
Damian: Could you loosen my blanket a little? Father tucked me in too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
Batman: Alfred, I need a car.
Alfred [on the Comm Link]: Call an Uber.
Batman: What am I? 19?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
No, more like a middle-aged teenager. (Also, this is Alfred’s version of grounding you for almost dying during your last mission, Bruce.)
Bruce: Jason, I can forgive the smoking, but I can’t forgive the lie.
Alfred: *glares at Bruce*
Bruce: Or the smoking.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Alfred raised you both right.
Alfred: The more kids the merrier.
Bruce: Be careful what you say, Alfred. You might give me ideas.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And the rest, as they say, is history.
When your father and grandfather leave you and your brothers alone at the Manor…
Damian: *sees “52 missed calls” on his cellphone screen*
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: How irresponsible do they think we are?
Jason: *shrugs* Sometimes Alfred leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 