incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Starfire: First off, you’re a complete idiot to even be in this situation.

Red Hood: No one disputes that I’m an idiot.

Arsenal [to Starfire]: I tried to stop him, Babe!

Starfire: No, you didn’t.

Arsenal: No, I didn’t.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ 

[in Sterling Archer’s voice] Bros before… apparent threats to national security.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Alfred: *walks into the Batcave with a tray of cookies*

Alfred: *watches as a thick, sticky, white substance drops from the ceiling and onto the tray*

Alfred: *sighs deeply* Is this absolutely necessary, Master Bruce?

Batman: *yelling from the ground floor while making a few adjustments to a vehicle* I thought it would brighten the cave up.

Alfred: *looks up at crevices on the ceiling* And where, may I ask, did you find this many of them?

Batman: 

Batman: Uh –

Alfred: *throws the guano-contaminated cookies into a trash bin* MASTER DAMIAN. *speed-walks out of the cave*

Nightwing: *getting off his motorcycle after it screeches to a halt* He is not gonna wanna see that room. *looks up* I like what you’ve done with the place. The yellow against all the black? *kisses his fingertips* Magnificent.

Batman: *grins* @fleetof-fandoms’ idea. You’ll have to send them a package for me. 

Nightwing: Yeaaaah… I don’t think a bumblebee-colored Batmobile qualifies as a package-package, but sure, I’ll drive it over. 

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Watching from a rooftop as the GCPD pick up the group of notorious criminals who they’ve just tied up and left in the middle of the street…

Robin: *elbowing his brother’s hip (since he can’t reach his rib)* You’re a good fighter, Todd.

Red Hood: *returning the affection with a pat on the shoulder* Not as good as you.

Robin: That’s very true. So get out of here.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Tim: Dick, we have a problem.

Dick: Guys, I am not your mother, so don’t come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesn’t like.

Tim: I’m telling you, he’s crazy. He keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice.

Damian: No, I didn’t.

Tim: Oh, so you’re saying you didn’t threaten to cut my hair off and give it to Ra’s as a birthday present?

Damian: You know, Drake, I think you’re taking my words a little out of context.

Tim: What?! What context?!

Might as well be tagged under #titans (2018).

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Batfather’s Day…

Batman: *opens a blood-stained greeting card with a bullet hole in the middle*

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Did you see the hearts? It took me, like, six minutes.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

In which Alfred gets teary-eyed from seeing the biggest grin he’s seen on his son’s face in years (and the card he himself got from his grandson).