Breaking up a fight between Nightwing and Red Hood after breaking up a fight between Red Hood and Red Robin…
Robin: The next one of you that opens up your mouth and says something, you’re gonna have to deal with me!
Because it’s canon that Batman keeps journals (and that he’s deeply in love)…
Clark: The part where you and Selina met. It’s right out of a twisted, vigilante rom-com.
Bruce: Yes. I believe they call it a “meet cute”.
Batman: I don’t pull rank, Lantern. I have rank.
Arsenal: You’re still in pain?
Red Hood: No, I just like saying “ow”.
Batman: What did I say about barging into my cave?
Superman: That it was impulsive and intrusive?
Batman: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was, “Don’t”.
Introducing your older brother to the team be like…
Kon: Is your brother hitting on Kara?
Jason: *twenty feet away, getting a Kryptonian slap to the face*
Tim: Not successfully.
Arsenal: Jason, our friendship is built on lies?!
Red Hood: … And laughter, and stalking criminals, and love.
When you’re feeling underappreciated by your best friend…
Arsenal [to Red Hood]: Oh, I already know what your next obituary will say: Jason Peter Todd, he had the very. BeST. FRIENDS.
Tim: I love you.
Tim: That being said, Damian gives me the creeps. So, for a romantic night in, how about we install security cameras and an alarm? *wags eyebrows*
Steph: *deadpan* Be still my heart.
Why Batman’s a superhero of few words…
Batman: *stares at villain/colleague/best friend/family member*
Batman: Hn. You’re not worth the monologue.
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