In the Batmobile, heading home…
Batman: How long until we intercept Alfred?
Nightwing: Three minutes.
Batman: We run every red light.
Meanwhile, at the Manor…
Alfred: *preparing to make the dreaded cucumber sandwiches as a post-patrol snack *
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
To learn more about these “cukewiches”, check out Trinity (2008) #10 and Batman (2016) #16.
“Hey guys are you ready to beat the shit out of me!!???”
Imagine (juuuust imagine): What really goes on between Joker and the Robins/Batboys when Batman isn’t around.
(Now, un-imagine it because Jason Todd’s getting nightmares as we speak.)
When you find out that your little brother and your girlfriend have been hanging out at the Manor…
Tim [to Damian]: She likes you enough to make me irrationally jealous!
When your underage brother just wants to show you some support after you have yet another fight with your adoptive father…
Tim: So, um, do you want me to go to a bar with you and watch you drink?
Jason: No, no, that’s okay. It, uh, got a little weird last time.
Why Jason should consider installing a peephole…
Tim: If you’re thinking of shooting through the door, please don’t. It’s Tim.
While Thomas Wayne, the Flashpoint Batman, is visiting his son Bruce, the current Batman…
Jason: Grandpa, I’m not going to hit you!
Jason:
Jason: *sighs* No grandkid should ever have to say that.
Tim: We’re going to a movie. Can we have some money?
Bruce: Sure. How much?
Tim: Uh, $650 should do it.
Bruce: Okay.
Duke: ….we’ll probably need money for popcorn, too.
Bruce: Oh?
Duke: Another $50, I think?
Bruce: Wait a minute. That doesn’t sound right.
Tim: …
Duke: ….
Bruce: Movie popcorn is expensive. Better take $100 to be safe.
Bruce has no concept of money.
Let’s just say I concur.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 
