When your detective of a father asks you and your brothers what happened to the Batmobile…
Bruce [to Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian]: *narrows eyes*
Bruce: Usually, when everything’s normal, people don’t respond in perfectly rehearsed unison.
What Batman’s day is really like…
Dick: *watching on as one of his brothers does something*
Dick: Bruce? Did you just see – ?
Bruce: Yes. I’ll deal with that tomorrow.
Warehouse: *explodes*
Red Robin: *watches as debris slowly fall into the Gotham Harbor*
Red Hood: *looks at Tim questioningly*
Red Robin: Bruce’s not going to say anything because we’re not going to tell him.
Red Hood: We’re not?
Red Robin: No, we’re not.
Red Hood: Alright. I like that.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Because Tim would totally propose this and Jason would totally agree.
Preparing for Family Patrol Night…
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash* What, Todd, for the first time ever, doesn’t want to do this?
Nightwing: *stuffing cereal packets into strategic places in his suit* No, no, he does. It’s just that he’s been so mopey.
Red Robin: *checking the coordinates of a supervillain’s lair on the Batcomputer* Well, that could have something to do with the fact that today’s his death anniversary.
Nightwing: I don’t know what it is.
Red Robin: I think that’s what it is.
Robin: -Tt- Who knows with him?
Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
Batman [to The Flash (Wally) and Green Lantern (Kyle)]: Both of you have done exemplary work, which I appreciate.
Green Lantern: And I can see that by the absolutely no indicators on your face.
Speculating about Batman’s powers while on Watchtower monitor duty..
Green Lantern: *sketching on a tablet he conjured up* Hey, Wal? What if he can smell crime?
The Flash: *speed-typing a report for Batman* … What if he smells crime, Kyle?
Green Lantern: Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! What if he can smell crime before it even happens?
The Flash: Dude, that’s amazing… Smells crime before it even happens. Yes, dude!
Green Lantern: WHAT IF HIS ENTIRE HEAD IS JUST ONE BIG NOSE? Write that down, I like that.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Batman: *in a space ship somewhere in the Solar System, listening in via the comms* Hnn.
Batman: Good job out there, Rayner.
Green Lantern: That means a lot coming from you, Mr. Batman, sir.
Green Lantern: *conjures up a cellphone construct*
Green Lantern: So, maybe if you could say it again to my Snapchat for a keepsake, that’d be amazing.
Batman: *glaring*
Green Lantern: Or, you know, we can do it later. I’ll just remember the phrasing.
The Flash: Is that Mr. O’Brien?
Green Lantern: That’s the buffet table, dude.
The Flash: Well, how can we be sure unless we question it?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Either Wally’s just trying to grab a quick bite or that really is Plas.
Clark: Bruce, you’re smiling! It’s very weird. Like seeing a turtle out of its shell.
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