Tam: *entering the Wayne Enterprises building*
Tim: *fidgeting with his double-breasted suit*
Tim: *closes his eyes for a second, then exhales*
Tim: Do I look okay?
Jason: Timbo, she waved at you, she smiled. Clearly her standards aren’t that high.
Tim: Right, thanks.
Batman: Alfred, I don’t pay you to mock me.
Alfred: Master Bruce, you’d have to pay me not to.
And the “Big Brother of the Year” Award goes to…
Dick: *baking cookies (Alfred’s recipe)*
Jason: *playing with Titus*
Damian: *arrives from Gotham High*
Damian: *slams his suitcase on the kitchen island*
Dick: …
Jason: …
Damian: *takes a seat on a stool, buries his face in his hands, and groans*
Dick: Soooo… How’s school?
Damian: *muffled* Okay.
Dick: Anything noteworthy happen?
Damian: *muffled* No.
Jason: *throws his hands up in the air* I thought you said he got dumped!
Dick: *through gritted teeth* I was easing into it.
Jason: Oh. Okay, go ahead.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
It’s tie.
Tim [to Damian, or vice versa]: I don’t have to like you, I don’t have to be nice to you, and I can make fun of you whenever I want, because when it really comes down to it… I will always have your back.
Tim: *mimicking SpongeBob’s voice* Thaaat’s right, ‘cause in this family you gotsa do your chores!
Jason: *scrubbing spray paint off the Batmobile while watching Alfred from the corner of his eye* Stop saying stupid stuff and come help!
Attempting to buy weapons at an underground armory…
Red Hood [to store owner]: *realizing that Bruce cancelled his credit cards* Wait, fine, my credit is bad. Do you accept street cred?
Commissioner Gordon: *throws his hands up in frustration* It’s a theory!
Batman: *crouching on a gargoyle* It’s my gut.
Commissioner Gordon: Does your gut have any evidence we can bring to a prosecutor?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Don’t believe him, Jim. “Gut” actually stands for “I’ve done all the research humanly possible for this particular matter and I don’t have time to explain all of it to you right now. Plus, I really prefer to keep my work a secret.”
Nightwing: You had a bad shoulder and that’s why you could never play catch with me while I was Robin, right?
Batman: Riiiiiight.
Red Hood: *trying to catch his breath* Roy, you texted me “911”! What’s the emergency?!
Arsenal: *holding up a picture of Red Hood and Bizarro at a superhero party together* Uh, well, our friendship’s in danger!
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: *talking animatedly*
Jason:
Dick: *laughing hysterically at his own joke*
Jason:
Dick: *wiping tears off his eyes*
Jason: Are you wearing make-up?
Dick: I’m always wearing a little bit of foundation, but that’s not the point.
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