When you’ve got some serious “street cred” to protect…
Jason: What?! I am not a crybaby.
Tim: “Toy Story 3”?
Jason: They were holding hands in a furnace, Tim!
Trying to cheer up your brother be like…
Dick: When stuff like this gets me down, you know what I like to do?
Jason: *rolls eyes* Sing “Hakuna Matata” like an eight-year-old girl?
Dick: Wrong, smarty-pants. It’s “Everything Is Awesome” from “The Lego Movie”.
When you feel like the third wheel in your own marriage…
Linda: Wally, you’re grown men. You and Dick don’t have to do everything together.
Wally: I know, that’s why I’m spending tonight with you.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Best buddies can be tough competition, Lin.
Tim [about Damian]: … And when I dropped him off at the Kent Farm, he even gave me a hug!
Jason: Did he think you were choking, or… ?
“Fatherhood for Dummies” by Bruce Wayne…
Dick: You’re writing Damian a check? What kind of gift is that?
Bruce: You told me he likes Transformer toys. This check transforms into any toy he wants.
After finding out that Red Hood’s a former Robin…
Superman: I know this comes as a shock to you –
Batman: Please, Clark. If I had a nickel for every time one of my sons died, got resurrected by an assassin overlord’s daughter, and came back as a lethal antihero, I’d haVE A NICKEL!
He’s, uh, stressed, Clark.
Jason: *picks up a piece of paper by the phone*
Jason: Timbo, what’s this? A phone message?
Tim: Yeah. Some dude called for you.
Jason: Who? I can’t read your handwriting.
Tim: *reads the message out loud* “You’re a big, selfish jerk.”
Jason: Okay, I know who it is.
Tim: Probably Roy.
Jason: Yup, Roy.
Family Patrol Night…
Red Robin: *disarming the security system at a criminal compound* Uhhh, what do I have to do for you?
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: *taking down a group of henchmen* Just promise to be sad at my (second) funeral.
Red Robin: *hacking into the control tower mainframe* Do I have to cry?
Red Hood: *activating the timer on an explosive device attached to a chain link fence* No.
Red Robin: *downloading top secret evidence onto a hard drive* Will there be food?
Red Hood: *running away from the site* Yes.
Red Robin: *reclining on the computer chair as he waits for said download to finish* Can I bring a date?
Red Hood: *BOOM*
Red Hood: *static*
Red Hood: *panting* You’re just screwing with me now, right?
Red Robin: *grinning* How does it feel?
Batman: The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me.
Red Hood: Really? Still?
At the Manor…
Jason: It’s because of you that Tim doesn’t want to come here anymore!
Damian: Good. Tell me what I did so that I can do it to you.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 