Why he sometimes regrets inviting colleagues to his kids’ recitals…
Bruce: *weeping with pride as Cass dances on stage* My daughter, my daughter…
Oliver: Come on, Bruce, she’s not that bad.
Batman [to a criminal]: *gripping him tightly by the collar* You think you’ve got guts? Try raising my kids!
He’s… tired.
Robin: Todd, I’m going to jump off this skyscraper.
Red Hood: You know, kid, as the only adult here, I feel like I should say something.
Robin: What?
Red Hood: Cool!
Arsenal: Is it true that Batman has retractable fangs?
Red Hood:
Red Hood: Yes.
“Injustice 2″…
Batman [to Superman]: One other sad thing is, Clark, you’re still the best friend I’ve ever had.
Jon: *observing Bruce, who’s talking to Dick* Is that your dad?
Damian: Both of them, yes.
Simon: *in civilian clothes, whistling while making tacos in the kitchen*
Batman: *perched on the window sill* Hello, Baz.
Simon: Jess and Hal are in the living room. One girlish scream from me and they go into Lantern mode.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Which is why you take your ring with you at all times. You never know when a creepy colleague will show up at your apartment unannounced.
At a Justice League mission briefing…
Batman: Any questions?
Red Hood: *yelling from the back* Why’re you such a poopy head?
Red Robin [whispering to Superboy]: That’s why he gets timeouts.
Visiting your best friend’s hometown be like…
Arsenal: *on the phone* Dude, I need help finding this place –
Red Hood: Follow the gunshots.
Arsenal: Copy that.
Wally: Dude, I can’t meet you for lunch today.
Dick: That’s good. Because I think I’ve run out of sandwich ideas.
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