Missions with Batman (or, more appropriately, Batman’s secret solo missions that the rest of the League somehow get wind of) be like…
Superman: I called for backup. You gotta trust somebody, Bruce.
Batman: *internally pouting like a baby, but relieved much deeper inside*
When an alien trying to take over the Earth lands in Gotham City…
Red Hood: *jumps over cars and debris to get to the alien ship*
Red Robin: What’re you gonna do, Hood?
Red Hood: Show it what a real monster looks like.
Running after a criminal who turns out to be a speedster be like…
Red Hood: If I were to speculate from your labored breathing…
Red Robin: I lost her.
Red Hood: That would be it.
Green Lanten: It’s a mess. You must feel horrible! You’ve lost everything. Your parents, your sons, your city…
Batman: *gritting teeth* Thank you for summing that up, Jordan.
Tim: Did you check the emergency exit?
Bart:
Bart: No, I went to go get donuts.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: I’m losing my mind, guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.
Alfred: *swiftly takes a step to the side to hide a frayed wire jutting from the kitchen wall*
Jason: *carefully pries the mug of espresso off Tim’s pale, trembling fingers*
Damian: *stealthily moves the butter knife away from Tim’s grasp*
Dick: *grabs Tim’s face and buries it on his chest in a tight hug*
Bruce: *closes the Gotham Gazette, stands up, then fireman-carries his heavily sleep-deprived son up to his room*
Tim: *feeling ‘er up* Ever since yesterday, I can’t stop thinking about you. I mean, I’ve known you practically the whole summer. I want you. I want you so bad.
Steph: Tim, it’s a car.
Jason: *pulls Steph aside* Let’s just leave these two kids alone.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Yup. Newly customized Redbird from Foxteca just arrived at the Manor.
Evenings in the Batcave…
Batman: *typing on the Batcomputer*
Red Robin: *tuning up the Redbird*
Batman: Fart.
Red Robin:
Red Robin: Uh…
Red Robin: Did you say “fart”?
Batman: Yes. That’s me being rather silly.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And, to this day, no one believes Tim.
Superman: *fighting Parademons on Apokolips*
Superman:
Superman: *chuckles* Fart.
~ • ~ • ~ •
I mean if Clark can canonically single out Bruce’s heartbeat while flying over earth, I think he can hear him say “Fart”.
Red Robin [on the comm link]: *hacking into the security cameras of the warehouse to keep an eye out for Jason* You’re in danger.
Red Hood: *dodging a samurai sword from behind him by a half an inch* Thanks, buddy. I just figured that out.
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