At Red Hood’s safe house…
Jason: *heaving and clutching at his chest*
Jason, to Damian, who’s clinging to the ceiling like a spider: What have I said about you sneaking up on me? I could’ve been shaving. This could’ve been a Sweeney Todd moment!
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *walks into the kitchen and sees Tim splayed on the kitchen counter, bruised and bloodied, and in a singed Red Robin uniform*
Damian: Pennyworth, do we have to put the trash on the counter? I take my afternoon tea here.
Dick: *putting on his Nightwing uniform* Are you a nerd?
Jason: No. Why would you ask me that?
Dick: *dangling the Robin uniform in front of him* It’s Patrol Night and you’re doing homework.
When you’re called to the principal’s office at Gotham Academy to discuss your youngest son…
Bruce: It can be challenging to find playmates for an exceptional child such as Damian. And I don’t mean to brag, but that’s why I didn’t have any friends growing up.
When your father and grandfather leave you and your brothers alone at the Manor…
Damian: *sees “52 missed calls” on his cellphone screen*
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: How irresponsible do they think we are?
Jason: *shrugs* Sometimes Alfred leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.
At the Watchtower…
Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube and news footage on the mainframe computer*
Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*
Superman: *arms crossed*
Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*
Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*
The Flash: *wide-eyed*
Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*
Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.
Batman: Hn.
Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.
Batman: *walks out*
As Bruce and Selina prepare to recite their vows to each other…
Dick: *whispering* A little heads up: There’s no way I’m not crying at this wedding.
Tim: Dick, you cried on the way here.
Batman: Jason, what have I told you about staying out past your curfew?
Robin: *shuts the textbook he’s reading*
Robin: *sighs* That I need to do it more often.
Damian: Father tried to fix all of our problems, but instead ruined all of our lives!
Jason: *shakes his head* Nightmare.
Dick: You guys are so dramatic. Do I need to call you a wambulance?
Dick: For bat’s sake, Damian. Change out of those wingtips. You’re a kid, not President Nixon on the beach!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 