When your super best friend could give Saran wrap a lesson…
Batman: *ignores vibrations coming from his pocket*
Wonder Woman: How many times a day does Clark text you?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Batman: Just… 40.
When asked what it was like being a teenaged vigilante…
Red Robin: Is there a word that means both complete self-satisfaction and complete self-loathing?
Nightwing: *fidgeting with his suit, stretching the fabric in, um, certain places*
Red Hood: Just suck in your gut.
Nightwing: What gut?
Red Hood: The little pouch where you keep Alfred’s cookies.
Nightwing:
Red Hood:
Nightwing: *pouts and backflips away*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Not cool, Li’l Wing. Not cool.
Coronavirus in Gotham (Positive Headcanons for this trying time)
jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear:
- Bruce Wayne persuades the mayor to issue a city wide shutdown, while also taking a pay cut himself so he can donate money to
essentialemployees and those who had lost their jobs thanks to the virus.
- All grocery stores in Gotham hold “Senior Hours” for the first two hours of operation.
- Selina Kyle steals from the rich socialites and the donates the profits to medical community and those in need, including food and retail works left without a job.
- The Rogues all band together and put aside their differences, promising not to attack the city while on lock down. (a rare occurrence)
- Scarecrow donates several hundred N5 masks to Gotham Hospital, as well as using his sewing skills to make some fabric masks
- Mr. Freeze suspends his experiments to save Nora in order to help other scientists find a cure
- Penguin uses his underground influence to raise money for extra test kits
- Damian Wayne helps the animal shelters deal with abandoned pets. (People will dump their pets for fear of them getting the virus)
- Nightwing patrols the city at night, making sure people do not stay out past curfew and cause trouble
- Jason Todd volunteers at Gotham Hospital as security
- Batman visits children and elderly in the hospital, despite being at risk to get the virus. He comforts them and assures them they’ll be okay.
Visiting the Titans Tower be like…
Green Lantern: Which one of you is Dick Grayson?
Robin: Oh, that’s me.
Green Lantern: Wait a second… Is your father Batman?
Robin: *proudly* Yup.
Green Lantern: You poor kid.

Batdog and his “Robins”.
Source: Comic Book Resources
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Adorable. Thanks for the submission, @xellexavierxau.
At the safe house…
Doorbell: *buzzes*
Jason: *sighs* It’s Morse code. It’s Damian.
Roy: How do you know?
Jason: Because the doorbell just said, “It’s me, morons”.

Roy: *heads to the door* I’ll get it –
Jason: *holds him back and shushes him* No, no. Wait for it.
Doorbell: *buzz buzz … buzz buzz buzz*
Roy: What? Why? Might be the pizza.
Jason: Shh shh. Trust me.
Doorbell: *buzzzzz*
Roy: Jay –
Doorbell: *buuuuzzzz buzz buzz*
Jason: Hey, want some breakfast?
Roy: Dude, the door –
Jason: *grabs him and leads him to the kitchen* Come on, I’ll make pancakes.
~ ~ ~ 30 minutes later ~ ~ ~
Doorbell: *BUZZZZZZZZZ*
Jason: *chuckling* Ha. Knew it.
Roy: *burps* We’re really just gonna ignore that?
Jason: *wiping his mouth* It’s Morse code. It’s Damian.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Let’s just say Jason wanted to hear everything Damian had to say first, @remakethestars .
As a kid I attempted to ship my sister to Egypt. Even tricked her into getting into the box. The only thing stopping me was a lack of stamps and adults taking me seriously. How many times do you think any of the BatKids tried something like that to each other?
Me: Here’s the thing… We’re talking about the Batkids here… They’ve got the brains, the resources, the gall, and an adoptive father who’s basically just stopped caring after the nth successful atte–
Dick: *from one end of the hall, talking on the phone* Uh, yes, is this Wayne Airlines? Yeah, I’m calling regarding a box that’s currently on one of your flights. It should be big enough to fit a teenager. Uh, yeah, hold on *covers the mouthpiece* Jason, which flight was it?
Jason: *yelling from the other end of the hall* Over my dead-again body, Dick.
Dick: *on the phone* Yeah, um, can you give me just a second?
Dick: *heads over to Damian on the other side of the room* Little D, come on, I need to know where Tim is before Bruce gets home.
Damian: *painting a portrait of Titus* Two words, Grayson. Social. Distancing.
Jason: *yelling* He’s finally getting uninterrupted sleep, Dickie!
Dick: You can’t keep sending Tim overseas for that reason –
Damian: That’s true, that’s why we send him for other reasons, too –
Jason: Shhhh!!! Alfred’s coming!
Dick: That’s it. I’m tell– *gets tackled to the ground by Damian*
Jason: *picks up the phone* Uh, yeah, sorry about that. Turns out I had the wrong airline. K, thanks, bye!
Me: So, um, yeah, @rosebloodwater .

