Before going their separate ways after dinner at the Manor… 

Red Hood: *strapping a box to his motorcycle*

Red Robin [to Alfred]: Why does Jason get a care package and not me?

Red Hood: *referring to Tim’s state-of-the-art safe house from Wayne Enterprises* You live in a care package. 

Mar’i [5 years old]: *watches as a group of adults “ooooh” and “awww” over a little girl and a little boy holding hands in a playground* Are you gonna be this cool when I like a boy?

Kori: Well –

Dick: No, not a chance. 

When you eavesdrop on a conversation between your super dad and one of his super friends (and instantly regret it)…

Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian: *hiding behind the dinosaur in the Batcave*

Bruce [on the phone with Clark]: *in a gruff voice* Hal thinks he can “Mean Girls” me?! Hn! How lame is that? Let me tell you something, I might be a pretty face, but I fight to win. Just like “Legally Blonde”!

Dick: *covers his mouth as he starts to giggle, then looks at Jason* 

Jason: *sticks his tongue out in disgust, then looks as Tim*

Tim: *slowly shakes his head and mouths “Wrong, just wrong”*

Damian: *crosses his arms and lets out a small -Tt-*

When Red Hood and Red Robin get into an intense argument during patrol and the latter walks out in frustration…

*Cue heavy rainfall* 

Red Hood: *scoffs* Don’t hate me for your son leaving.

Batman: You’re both my sons.

rosalitadiazz:

Peralta men: doing the exact opposite of what they say

suggested by anonymous

IMAGINE:

Nightwing [to Alfred]: *after finding out that Bruce teamed up with Deathstroke for a case behind his back* “I’m gonna go down to the Batcave, and I’m gonna express my concerns to him in a calm, rational manner.”

5 minutes later…

Nightwing [to Batman]: *dramatically flailing his arms* “What are you doing, Bruce?! He’s evil!”

>>> — <<<

Dick [to Bruce]: *after telling him that Jason’s coming over to the manor* Look, I know you don’t like him right now, but can you at least try to be nice to him for me?

Bruce: *grunts*

5 minutes later…

Red Hood: *getting off his motorcycle on the Manor driveway*

Bruce: *stomping towards him and pointing at him* I’m glad you’re no longer dead, you lousy son of mine!

Dick: *facepalms*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you humor your 13-year-old League of Assassins-raised brother at his second chance at childhood…

Damian: *pretends to pour tea for Alfred the Cat, Batcow, Jerry the Turkey, Goliath, and Jason*

Jason: *facepalms* I don’t know why I agreed to this.

Damian: *glares* Because you like the taste of my imaginary tea.

Jason: Oh, you’re right. *“sips”*