Tim: Aaaarrrggh, you are such a sore loser, Damian!
Damian: I am not a sore loser, Drake. It’s just that I prefer to win, and when I don’t, I get furious.
Batman: Jordan’s the worst person I’ve ever met.
Batman: I want to travel the Multiverse with him.
Arguing with your best friend be like…
Dick: Well, I dropped my cell phone in a bowl of cereal last week, idiot! If you had called me, you would have known that!
Wally: *raises an eyebrow*
Dick: Oh.
Red Robin: *crouching behind the giant coin in the Batcave*
Nightwing: *walks in*
Red Robin: *to his walkie-talkie* The Hug Machine is here. I repeat, the Hug Machine is here. Smiling on all cylinders.
The rest of the Batfamily: *temporarily stop brooding to find hiding places*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Dick tends to get in the way of angst and sadness.
Arsenal: *watching Bizarro playing with Pup-Pup*
Red Hood: *whispering* His nickname around the safe house is Softypants McHuggable.
Batman/Superman: Teenage AU…
Superteen: Before I save the world, you have to spend the week doing everything I say.
Bat-teen: So, what, I have to be your slave or something?
Superteen: No. You have to be my friend, Bruce.
Bat-teen: Ugh. That’s so much worse.
When your best friend makes the worst puns…
Wally [to Dick]: You’re too beautiful to be funny, dude. It’s not your fault, but you’ve never had to compensate for anything.
Batman: *enters the room*
Green Lantern (Jessica): … Did you just pee your space-pants?
Green Lantern (Simon): Just a dab.
When Alfred’s away on vacation and you’ve got to do the grocery shopping yourself…
Bruce [to clerk]: I would like twelve eggs…
Bruce: *tries to read Dick’s smudged handwriting on his palm* … and part of a dead animal. Dealer’s choice. Please and thank you.
Green Lantern: I feel like you’re embarrassed by me.
Batman: That is accurate.
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