Duke: *listening to the birds chirping, the breeze blowing, the grass being mowed by Alfred… *
Duke: *looks around the kitchen suspiciously*
Duke: It’s quiet. Too quiet.
Duke:
Dune: *narrowly misses a birdarang, which hits and breaks a ketchup bottle, and hears two sets of footsteps – one lithe, the other heavy – barreling down the stairs and familiar voices yelling insults at each other*
Duke:
Duke: *gets up, grabs his stuff, and looks up the nearest Big Belly Burger on Waze* Suddenly it’s too loud. I preferred it when it was quiet.
Jason: *turns his seat to face @rayanyamor*And you felt the need to point it out because…?
Alfred: *conficates Jason’s Pop-Tarts and starts passing out plates of blueberry waffles to everyone at the table* Young masters, I implore you to let our guest have breakfast in peace.
Jason: Alf, wha–
Tim: *pops coffee beans into his mouth* But it’s a legit question, though.
Damian: *climbs on top of the kitchen table and brings his face so close to @rayanyamor’s that they’re practically nose-to-nose* What makes you so sure that we weren’t referring to another Robin?
Dick: *walks into the kitchen already eating from a cereal box* Good morning, family! What’re we talking about now? And where’s Dune?
Me: *drags my hand down my face in anguish* It was a typo. A typo.
Red Hood: Look, I don’t know who this “Jason” you’re talking about is, but it’s not me, alright? There must be, like, a billion Jasons in Gotham alone, so you’re clearly mistaken –
Alfred [on the Comm Link]: Master Jason, this chocolate bouquet on your bed addressed to *sound of a greeting card flipping open* @abundanceofopals, shall I wipe the bloodstains off of it or –
Red Hood: *shuts the Comm Link and sheepishly rubs the back of his neck* Uhhh.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
He’s blushing so hard that he’s as red as the mask covering his face, trust me. Thank you so much, @abundanceofopals! You have a nice day, too!
Dick: *leaning over the sofa in the Wayne Manor library* Wow, Little Wing, you were asleep for a long time. What were you dreaming about?
Jason: *yawning and stretching, swiftly catching the novel that falls from his chest as he gets up* Nothing. I don’t like to dream. I try not to think while I’m sleeping.
Damian: *not looking up from the novel he’s reading at the other side of the room* That’s pretty much how you function while you’re awake, too.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 