Red Robin: *snoring loudly with half of his body sticking out of the Redbird and saliva running down his jaw*
Nightwing: How many sleeping pills did you give Tim?
Red Hood: I don’t know. Seven? Twelve?
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: *talking animatedly*
Jason:
Dick: *laughing hysterically at his own joke*
Jason:
Dick: *wiping tears off his eyes*
Jason: Are you wearing make-up?
Dick: I’m always wearing a little bit of foundation, but that’s not the point.
Barbara: I don’t know how you guys live with yourselves.
Dick: *grins* One day at a time.
Jason: *scoffs* One day at a time.
Tim: *yawns* One day at a time.
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *picks up the Gotham Gazette*
Dick: *doing pull-ups using the kitchen chandelier*
Alfred: *tugs at Dick’s feet to get him off the chandelier*
Tim: *typing furiously on his laptop, eyes narrowed with concentration*
Jason: *pours a fifth shot of espresso into Tim’s mug*
Damian: *picks bacon off Jason’s plate and feeds it to Alfred the Cat*
Bruce: *puts down the newspaper, buries his face in a hand and shakes his head*
Bruce: Just one question, boys. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
I’d say stick to the Business Section, Bruce, but I guess it’s kind of hard to avoid the headlines, huh?
Batman: I’m looking for John Constantine. Can you tell me where to find him?
Doctor Fate: What do I look like? An information desk?
Batman: Excuse me?
Doctor Fate: *rolls his eyes inside his helmet and conjures up a portal* Yes, fine, you’re excused. Oh, and don’t forget to fill in our customer comment card on your way out.
Bizarro: You am show Bizarro some love! *high-fives Roy, who gets thrown across the room instantly *
Roy [to Jason]: *mutters* I hate showing Bizarro love.
dick grayson: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.
donna troy: You were flirting with Kori.
dick grayson: So what? She’s my wife.
donna troy: You asked her if she was single.
dick grayson:
donna troy: And then you cried when she said she wasn’t.
In the Batplane…
Batman:
The Flash:
Batman:
The Flash: *shuddering*
Batman: You okay?
The Flash: *still trying to get over seeing Red Robin and Robin in action only a few moments back*
The Flash: You convinced two healthy kids to jump out of a plane. Is that even legal?
When asked what his spirit animal was…
Dick: I’m like a mother 🐻 –
Damian: *from the room down the hall* Grayson! Todd’s pissing me off!
Dick: When I hear my cub crying, I have to run to him. Now, if you’ll excuse me – 🏃♂
Superman: *depowered in a Kryptonite-lined cage*
Wonder Woman: *tied up by her own lasso*
The Flash: *weakened by a low blood sugar level*
Green Lantern: *closing and opening a ring-less hand*
Batman: *walks into the room*
Robin: *comes out from under his cape*
Green Lantern: You got a kid with you? Greaaaat. And you’re the ones saving us?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 