When asked why he and Arsenal get along so well…
Red Hood: *shrugs* We get caught together, we face death together. It happens every week.
Robin: *walks into the Batcave*
Red Hood: Hey, Bruce, is it Bring-Your-Brat-to-Work Day?
Red Robin: Yeah, one of those things wandered in here.
Damian: *building a LEGO Death Star*
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: *yelling* Drake! I need your help!
Tim: In your room? You’re letting me go into your room?!
Black Mask: I had no idea that the infamous Red Hood could be bought.
Red Hood: For a quarter of a billion dollars, not only can I be bought, you can gift-wrap me, too.
Damian: *guarding the door at Red Robin’s Nest*
Tim: *on a gurney*
Jason: *knocks*
Damian: *opens the door* Todd, this really isn’t the best time. Drake is pretty sick.
Jason: Oh, no. Poor Timbo. Is Damian taking good care of you?
Tim: Not really.
Jason: Would you like me to take care of you?
Tim: Not really.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Where’re Alfred and Dick when you need ‘em?
Dick: Hey, hey. Maple Loops is part of a nutritious and balanced breakfast.
Wally: Yeah, if you eat it with a steak and some broccoli.
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Alfred: *filling a syringe with anesthesia*
Red Hood: *gripping Damian’s hand with both of his*
Red Hood: It’s okay, little buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: *glances at the newly emptied syringe being held by Alfred*
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
Inviting your best friend to your hometown be like…
Clark: *driving to Smallville* Bruce, I know you have some very definite expectations for this weekend.
Bruce: *on the passenger’s seat* Why do you think that?
Clark: Because you sent me an e-mail three days ago that said, “Clark, I have some very definite expectations for this weekend”.
You know you’re the newbie when…
Green Lantern (Simon): Who’s the big, scary guy?
Green Lantern (Hal): *shakes his head* His name’s Batman. You should know that by now.
When you’re just really homesick…
Dick: I just had a major epiphany. You know my lease is almost up, right? Well, I’ve been thinking, “Dick, it’s time you moved on in your life as a man”. It’s not just about me anymore.
Barbara: I think that’s a very mature thought, Hunk Wonder.
Dick: So you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna move back in with Bruce.
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