Tim: Did you check the emergency exit?
Bart:
Bart: No, I went to go get donuts.
Bruce [about Damian]: I have no idea what’s gotten into him.
Alfred: Really? He reminds me of somebody else I know… Let’s see: He’s haughty, stubborn, temperamental, and loyal to a fault. He’s you, Bruce.
Bruce: That’s disturbingly insightful.
Teaming up for (yet another) case be like…
The Flash: *proudly dangling a piece of evidence he’d just found* You wanted a smoking gun? Chew on this!
Batman:
The Flash: *sheepishly rubbing his neck* Not that one chews on a gun. Kind of mixing metaphors there.
Arsenal: You know what, partner? We can get on a plane right now and settle this.
Red Hood: That is why I love you, buddy. You’re always willing to risk both our lives at any given moment.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
To be fair, “Jaybird”, that seems to go both ways.
When you invite the Super Family over for a “leisurely Sunday cookout"…
Bruce [to the Batkids]: This is a competition. We need to win it. Please do your jobs.
Dick: Bruce, please, don’t make this another comp…
Rest of the Batkids: YES FATHER!
After a mission
Alfred: Very well, who got injured?
Tim: I’m fine.
Steph: I’m fine.
Damian: Tt. As if those low lifes could injure me.
Dick: Just a sprained wrist, I’ll be fine by tomorrow.
Jason: *holding his shoulder which looks suspiciously red*
Duke: *leg is also looking suspiciously red*
Duke and Jason: Gunshot buddies! *High five*
Bonus:
Bruce: *limping away towards the stairs, a trail of blood smeared behind him* I’m FiNe!
Undercover mission at a Gotham City home for the elderly…
Tim: *whispering* I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to have a weapon in a place full of old people.
Jason: *whispering back* Literally everything is a weapon, Tim. These dentures in my hand are far deadlier than that staff on your back.
When you teach your sons how to be financially responsible and ask them to present an account of their expenses…
Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian *hand over haphazardly stacked pieces of paper*
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: Most of these aren’t even receipts. This one says, “I bought a Robmobile, 2010″.
Red Robin: *crouching behind the giant coin in the Batcave*
Nightwing: *walks in*
Red Robin: *to his walkie-talkie* The Hug Machine is here. I repeat, the Hug Machine is here. Smiling on all cylinders.
The rest of the Batfamily: *temporarily stop brooding to find hiding places*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Dick tends to get in the way of angst and sadness.
Tim: Aaaarrrggh, you are such a sore loser, Damian!
Damian: I am not a sore loser, Drake. It’s just that I prefer to win, and when I don’t, I get furious.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 