When another one of your best friend’s “brilliant” ideas somehow leaves you both stuck in a maze…
Red Hood: Maybe we should split up.
Arsenal: Split up? Jaybird, no! We can fix this partnership!
Red Hood: No, no, I didn’t mean –
Arsenal: Fine! You want out? Then, go! I can make it on my own. Before I met you, I had other friends and dreams.
Red Hood: I was talking about –
Arsenal: Oh, please take me back! The solo vigilante scene is a nightmare! I’m begging you!
Red Hood: I just meant we should split up to get out of this maze…
Arsenal: Deep down, I – I guess I knew that.
Red Hood: Now, there must be a way out –
Arsenal: Of our partnership? I don’t want to live! *runs off screaming*
Red Hood: *sighs*
Red Hood: *opens a hidden doorway and exits*
Why you don’t try to psychoanalyze your best friend…
Roy: What’re you afraid of, Jaybird?
Jason: I’m afraid of what I’m gonna do to you if you don’t shut up.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And don’t tell me that Roy didn’t ask this while lying belly down on Jason’s bed with his chin propped up by both hands and his bent legs crisscrossing in the air.
Inviting your superfriends over for your safe-housewarming…
Arsenal: *talking on the phone* It’s our thing, Dick. Dudesgiving.
Red Hood: *unpacking weapons in the other room* Okay, no matter how many e-mails you send, that’s not real, Roy!
Arsenal: It’s real, man!
Red Hood: It’s not real! We’re not calling it that!
Preparing to jump a gang of mobsters be like…
Red Hood: Okay. On three. One. Two –
Arsenal: Why don’t we just go on two?
Red Hood: Why two?
Arsenal: Because it’s faster.
Red Hood: You know, I could’ve counted to three, like, four times without all this “two” talk!
Arsenal: All right, but in the future…
Red Hood: Okay. One. Two –
Arsenal: So are we going on two?
Red Hood: *trying to catch his breath* Roy, you texted me “911”! What’s the emergency?!
Arsenal: *holding up a picture of Red Hood and Bizarro at a superhero party together* Uh, well, our friendship’s in danger!
Red Hood/Arsenal: Therapy…
Roy: Okay, well, for starters, there’s nothing wrong with keeping our toothbrushes in the same holder.
Dinah: Jason, what do you say to that?
Jason: I think we should see other vigilantes.
When your adoptive father’s one of the best stalkers in the world…
Red Hood [to Batman]: How did you know I was here? Are you tracking my cell phone signal? You know what, I don’t want to know! It’ll just lead to more questions.
Dick [about Bruce]: “Clingy”? He called me “clingy”?
Tim: *nods*
Dick: Damn.
Dick: I’ve got to call him to make sure everything’s okay.
Mobster: *tied up and cursing at Red Hood in Russian*
Red Hood: You have some mouth on you.
Mobster: You speak Russian?
Red Hood: *cracks his knuckles*
Red Hood: Just the swear words.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Don’t be modest, Jason. We know it’s canon that you do.
On the GCPD rooftop…
Commissioner Gordon: *turns around to find Batman gone (for the nth time)*
Commissioner Gordon: *takes a long drag off his cigarette* I think he might be part-vapor.
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