Attempting to buy weapons at an underground armory…
Red Hood [to store owner]: *realizing that Bruce cancelled his credit cards* Wait, fine, my credit is bad. Do you accept street cred?
Red Hood: Last time I checked, @writtenskyes , the cards I have belonged to one Jtason Jtodd. *winks*
Imagine: Tim and Damian forced to cooperate with each other in front of Dick and Barbara.
So, I was watching “The Boss Baby”, and I thought it was FREAKIN’ ADORABLE, especially since the two main characters reminded me a lot of Timmy and Dami.
First of all, the older child’s name IS Tim (Hello!). He’s an intelligent, imaginative, gentle, and kind-hearted kid who suddenly felt stripped of love and attention (as if he’d lost his parents) when a new baby came along. This is reminiscent of what happened when Dick chose Damian over him to become Robin in the comics. Tim took it very hardly and it fueled his existing dislike for Damian even more.
Secondly, the “Boss Baby” is a business man stuck in a baby’s body. He’s wise beyond his time, but self-entitled, arrogant, and unfamiliar with how to be a child since he was “manufactured” and sent straight to work for upper management in a corporation off the bat. Damian himself was “born” in a laboratory, then raised by a domineering mother and a power-hungry grandfather for the purpose of running a vast criminal enterprise.
And, thirdly, though they initially hated each other, they were forced to cooperate with each other in order to save their family, and in the process, started to genuinely care and love one another.
I mean, if this doesn’t scream Batfamily… ?
Attempting to buy weapons at an underground armory…
Red Hood [to store owner]: *realizing that Bruce cancelled his credit cards* Wait, fine, my credit is bad. Do you accept street cred?
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *following Tim around the kitchen* Lotus Bear Relax! I can smell it on you right now!
Tim: *slapping his hand away* Stop smelling my hair, dude!
Jason: Do you know how much that stuff costs?
Tim: I didn’t use your conditioner, Jay!
Jason: Then why does your hair look so baby soft?!
Alfred: *sighs*
Alfred: *adds “conditioner” to grocery list*
Red Hood [to thug]: I bark.
Red Hood: That kid there, see him? *points to Robin*
Red Hood: He bites.
Jason: *shoves Tim out of his room and shuts the door behind them* You invaded my privacy. I have a right to be upset, okay?
Tim: It’s not snooping if something is out in the open. That’s the rule.
Jason: There’s no rule.
Tim: Are you serious? “If it’s not hidden, it’s not forbidden.” You’ve never heard of that?
Jason: No, I’ve never heard of it because you just made it up.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
So he saw the little Bizarro plushie on your bed (or was it the pair of Batman boxers under it?). So what? It’s adorable, Jay!
When you call for back-up but end up battling a bunch of rogues by yourself…
Medic [speaking into the radio]: He’s lost a lot of blood.
Red Hood: I didn’t lose it. I’ve been sitting in it for hours, waiting for one of my brothers to get back from dance class or something. *stands up and drags himself to his motorcycle, leaving a trail of blood behind him*
Preparing for Family Patrol Night…
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash* What, Todd, for the first time ever, doesn’t want to do this?
Nightwing: *stuffing cereal packets into strategic places in his suit* No, no, he does. It’s just that he’s been so mopey.
Red Robin: *checking the coordinates of a supervillain’s lair on the Batcomputer* Well, that could have something to do with the fact that today’s his death anniversary.
Nightwing: I don’t know what it is.
Red Robin: I think that’s what it is.
Robin: -Tt- Who knows with him?
Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
Warehouse: *explodes*
Red Robin: *watches as debris slowly fall into the Gotham Harbor*
Red Hood: *looks at Tim questioningly*
Red Robin: Bruce’s not going to say anything because we’re not going to tell him.
Red Hood: We’re not?
Red Robin: No, we’re not.
Red Hood: Alright. I like that.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Because Tim would totally propose this and Jason would totally agree.
Batman: *walks into the Watchtower’s Hall of Justice*
Batman: *narrows his eyes* Hn.
Batman: *swiftly turns on the light*
Everyone: SURPRISE, BRUCE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *confetti explosions, colorful bat-shaped balloons, tooting horns*
Batman: *wide-eyed, open-mouthed and motionless*
Wonder Woman: *checks him for a pulse*
Superman: *whispers in his ear* I know it’s your specialty, but let’s try not to overthink this one, okay?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Aww, you guys! Don’t scare him like that.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 