kory: how long have you been watching me sleep
dick: twelve hours
kory: okay the normal amount for you
dick: anyway that’s photo 104 of 5000 of my beautiful wife
dick: i sure hope she’s not out there, realizing she’s an alien
donna: what?
dick: that would SUCK
When Batman tucks you in…
Damian: …
Damian: Pennyworth.
Damian: Could you loosen my blanket a little? Father tucked me in too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
Maybe he’s trying to keep you from sneaking out and going to Kent Farm at 3 AM again? *shrugs*
Dick [about Roy]: Well, do you ever take an interest in anything he does?
Jason: Well, we used to have burping contests, but I outgrew it.
Why you think twice before trolling the World’s (Second) Greatest Detective…
Tim: What have you done with my report?
Jason: I’ve hidden it. To find it, you’ll need to decipher a series of clues, each more fiendish than –
Tim: Got it!
Jason: D’oh!
Batman: *narrows eyes* Now, what are you up to?
Red Hood: Whatever happened to “hi”?
Batman: Hi. Now, what are you up to?
Why Dick is Damian’s favorite older brother…
Tim [about Damian]: In a way, I think we learned more from him than he learned from us.
Jason: Well, obviously. Because we taught him nothing.
Nightwing: *sees what Batman and Red Robin are up to* Tracking software? You’re spying on Damian!
Batman: Dick, keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong. It shows you care.
[Scene cuts to Deathstroke on a nearby rooftop, listening in via a bugging device attached to the Batmobile]
Deathstroke: That’s right, my dear Dick Grayson. *sinister laugh* Soon, you’ll be mine.
[Scene cuts to two FBI agents in a surveillance truck]
FBI Agent #1: *observing Deathstroke via a spy camera* Keep talking, creepo.
FBI Agent #2: Every word buys you a year in the slammer.
When asked why he hasn’t started dating yet…
Jason: You see how picky I am about my guns, and those only go on my holsters.
When your best bud is still learning how to be “human”…
Conner: That’s a third of the way to Mars!
Tim: Conner, for the last time, Thirty Seconds To Mars is the name of a band, not a fact.
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